Almost there.

I only have a minute because I should be packing....

I have started a post probably three times now but they turn out so debbie downer that I decide not to post them.

I am not happy to be moving

I am not looking forward to starting a new job

I am not excited to be a single parent for goodness knows how long

but I breathe and keep going.

A lot of lasts are happening, which I hate thinking of them as such, like I am a prisoner on death row.

But it is goodbye or See you later.

I am happy to report that packing, although at a stand still is about 90% done. I feel like I have wasted so much time these past 10 days but in all honesty I can't pack up anymore of Sarah's toys or room because we are still living here. So much has to happen the last three days that I am worried I won't be able to enjoy my last days as an Ohioan. My mom took the week off to help and hopefully with her as a helper and a distraction I get everything done in ample time to say goodbye to my home.

Please send me motivation/a kick to the butt to get the rest of this packing done.

Next time I post it will be from the Low Country!

Looking forward

In the interest in trying to stay positive and not dwell in the heart wrenching sadness that almost flattens me like a truck when I think about leaving my home. I have started a list of things I am looking forward to about this move.

Here is my list thus far:

1. Warmer weather:

Living my entire life in Ohio I have seen some brutal winters, gloomy days lasting months, winds that chill you to the bone and  hurt your face and saying that weekly prayer that this snow storm will shift north or south.

They are already in a thaw in SC, temps are reaching a lovely 60 degrees. My flips flops are calling me and my toes are begging to me painted a bright and fun color.

2. Being surrounded by people with similar weight loss/health goals:

I love my husband, and one thing that still blows me away is that he loves me (is attracted to me) no matter what I look like. He loved me when I was 130 pounds and that love and tenderness didn't falter when my weight sky rocketed to 250. As much as I adore my husband's love for my body (especially when I can't) it can cause a state of "oh what the hell" with my eating. Not to mention husband isn't the greatest partner in a healthy life style. The man would eat a 5 lb bag of gummy bears in one sitting if I didn't stop him.

My MIL and SIL are both trying to get in better shape and drop some weight. It will be nice to have support system that is trying to reach this goal with me instead of eating a twinkie and cheering me on from the side lines.

3. Going to Church:

My husband's family is very active in their church community and I can't wait to join them. I have said before that I feel like this is one aspect in my life that is missing, that I haven't cultivated. I want Sarah to know God in away that I never did, to be strong in her faith and this is the first step.

And I get to sing in a choir again. EXCITED!

4. Close proximity to the beach:

this should be higher on the list, I can't even tell you how excited I am that I will be 10 mins from the beach and plan on being there every weekend. It is a luxury lost on some, but for a Yankee like me that had to travel 13 hours to get to an ocean, that I want to soak up every minute I can.

My list of things I will miss is three times as long,if not longer, but I take note if I find myself getting excited about something. I need to stay positive for my family, no matter how much my heart hurts and hope the sound of the beach waves will ease it.