Last night I got a phone call from Matthew, and by the sound of his voice I knew it wasn't good news. I thought to myself what now, does his mom want to invite the tri-state area to our rehearsal dinner? It all seems trivial now, let her if she wants.

Matthew's Dad waited for his mom to go to bed so he could talk to his son with out being interupted by his wife who will quickly call him out. Matt's dad said that he admired him for the effort he is putting forth on the job front, but the truth of the matter is, if he doesn't have a job we can't get married (which he does have a point). Then it hit....

" If you don't have a job in a few months, I think you should break your lease, pack up your stuff and go."

As he is telling me this the anger starts to build up.... Matt continues....

" I think you should go stay with your sister for a couple of weeks and check things out, go stay with your Grandma and check things out."

I can feel my blood pressure rising, the heat on my face, the white of my knuckles clenched around a ball of jeans.

Matt replies "Dad, Katy took summer semester off to pay for the wedding."

"She is going to be in school forever."

I don't even know what to say about any of this. I ask Matt to give me a straight answer and I ask him "Does your dad want us to break up?" Matt reassures me and says no and I tell him that I can't do long distance again, I don't think I have it in me. I had to be strong for 5 years and what can I say I am soft now.

I feel like I now know what his dad really thinks of me. I am the one holding his son back, I am the one that is hindering his full potential. Even after his dad warned him he still moved up here to be with me.

I feel attacked, I feel like I am not good enough for him and its not Matthew that has made me feel that way it is his Dad...

Does he think this every time he sees me? I am afraid of Matt resenting me in the end.

I just don't know what to think anymore.