Assholes...
Lying to everyone, not about love, but about school.
Ok here is the deal.
Remember when I quit my job, went to school full time, and then my part time job fell apart because I got tendonitis, and then I got a new job at OSU?
Got all that?
Well, my want to further my education hasn't lessened any, especially working for a university.
I am now faced with the hard decision of continuing with my previous degree and do it on the borrowed dime or start a new program (same general field, allied health) for next to nothing at OSU.
I know the choice should be crystal clear but it's not, it is so murky that it is taking forever to decide what to do.
When I steered myself towards allied health and found surgical technology everything fit, it was everything I was looking for.
Then I got this amazing opportunity to work for OSU and they have a ton of degrees to choose from but allied health is limited. I decided to start looking in to the radiation therapy program and although the money is better, it just felt like settling.
I talked to husband and family and they all think I am crazy for wanting to be in surgery anyway, and the possibility of making double what a surgical tech does, they all said the radiation therapy degree was the way to go.
I can't blame them for saying that, not that my family and husband are money hungry, they are anything but, it is just a perk at the possibility to not have to worry about living pay check to pay check.
I may not be able to swing going in to the surgical tech program, money wise.
Going to OSU maybe the only way for me to go to school....
I just can't shake this feeling that surgical technology is where I need to be.
hmpf.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Mrs.G: Chapter Two
Growing up
Where did you grow up?
I was born and raised here in Cbus, in a little suburb called Hilliard. When I came home from the hospital we went to my Grandma's house. My parents along with my brother were living with her.
In the couple years before I was born my parents split up, and my Grandpa Hunter (paternal), went over to my parents house and packed up my mom and my brother and moved them in to he and my Grandma's house. Their was always a sense of disappointment with how my father handled the whole situation and my family didn't exactly keep their feelings to them selves.
A little over a year before I was born my mom and dad got back together but my Grandfather in the mean time took ill. He had a very aggressive lung cancer and it took him within a year. He died a year to the day I was brought home from the hospital.
My family still lived with my Grandma and in May 1987 my parents were starting divorce proceedings, I call myself a love child for this reason.
I can still remember the Ridgewood house, the tree in the front yard that I fought so hard to climb, always in vain. I was so little. I remember the basement being a perfect circle and my brother and I roller blading around and around, I remember the wall of mirrors in the dining room that would cause me to climb on the dining room table and use it as a stage.
When we moved out we bounced around from apartment to apartment until my mom bought the house I grew up in. I was 7 and we moved in to this new condo community on what was the outskirts of town. When we moved there it was the complex and a grocery store, McDonalds and the rest was just corn fields.
* cute fact* as we were building our house, my mom took my brother and I there one day to see the progress and they hadn't put the insulation up. My mom grabbed a pen and had us sign the walls in our bedrooms. I so very badly want to see that little hand written signature again*
What was your earliest memory?
I can remember back to when I was 4, their was a particular incident at my Grandmas house that was absolutely terrifying.
I was an odd kid, I wasn't scared of the dark, in fact I loved it and would search high and low for the perfect dark spot such as a closet (where my mother would find me quite often). Then one day, while playing in the basement I came upon my Grandma's old upright, out of commission freezer. I thought to myself, it has to be as dark as a closet, IF NOT DARKER!!! So my little four year old self decided to try this out, I pulled open the door and climbed in.
Here is the thing, there is more than one reason fridges keep your food fresh, its not only keeping your food cold, but also keep air out.
Yes, I had just voluntarily locked my self in an air tight freezer. I remember the door shutting and not immediately being scared. There was a few moments of WOW THIS IS THE BEST DARK PLACE EVER!!! Then the air was used up. I can remember gasping for air, trying to feel around for door, then crying. I was terrified, my little mind didn't grasp that severity of this predicament because at 4 you don't really understand death. But I remember bracing myself and kicking with all my might gasping for air.
I finally got the door open and I remember gulping air and bolting up the stairs. I was hysterically crying and when I rounded the corner in to the living room I remember the look on my mom and grandma's faces. They had been catching up one minute and the next trying to decipher what happened from a screaming 4 year old. I dragged the downstairs and they saw the door open on the freezer and little scuff marks from my shoes on the walls inside.
Looking back this all happened in a matter of minutes but in my fearful mind it was hours, if not days.
I don't mind the dark, but to this day I don't like being in basements much or tight spaces.
What games did you play?
I had to do a lot of make believe growing up. My brother didn't really want his pesky little sister around so it was usually me playing dress up.
My grandma gave me a bunch of her old dresses from the 1950's and I would grab that and my old Fischer Price record player and my grandmas Andrew Sisters record and pretend my family had to escape city bombings in during WW2.
Or I used to move in to the bathroom and set up my bed in the tub and pretend I had this little cabin in the woods.
Next up: The teenage years.
Where did you grow up?
I was born and raised here in Cbus, in a little suburb called Hilliard. When I came home from the hospital we went to my Grandma's house. My parents along with my brother were living with her.
In the couple years before I was born my parents split up, and my Grandpa Hunter (paternal), went over to my parents house and packed up my mom and my brother and moved them in to he and my Grandma's house. Their was always a sense of disappointment with how my father handled the whole situation and my family didn't exactly keep their feelings to them selves.
A little over a year before I was born my mom and dad got back together but my Grandfather in the mean time took ill. He had a very aggressive lung cancer and it took him within a year. He died a year to the day I was brought home from the hospital.
My family still lived with my Grandma and in May 1987 my parents were starting divorce proceedings, I call myself a love child for this reason.
I can still remember the Ridgewood house, the tree in the front yard that I fought so hard to climb, always in vain. I was so little. I remember the basement being a perfect circle and my brother and I roller blading around and around, I remember the wall of mirrors in the dining room that would cause me to climb on the dining room table and use it as a stage.
When we moved out we bounced around from apartment to apartment until my mom bought the house I grew up in. I was 7 and we moved in to this new condo community on what was the outskirts of town. When we moved there it was the complex and a grocery store, McDonalds and the rest was just corn fields.
* cute fact* as we were building our house, my mom took my brother and I there one day to see the progress and they hadn't put the insulation up. My mom grabbed a pen and had us sign the walls in our bedrooms. I so very badly want to see that little hand written signature again*
What was your earliest memory?
I can remember back to when I was 4, their was a particular incident at my Grandmas house that was absolutely terrifying.
I was an odd kid, I wasn't scared of the dark, in fact I loved it and would search high and low for the perfect dark spot such as a closet (where my mother would find me quite often). Then one day, while playing in the basement I came upon my Grandma's old upright, out of commission freezer. I thought to myself, it has to be as dark as a closet, IF NOT DARKER!!! So my little four year old self decided to try this out, I pulled open the door and climbed in.
Here is the thing, there is more than one reason fridges keep your food fresh, its not only keeping your food cold, but also keep air out.
Yes, I had just voluntarily locked my self in an air tight freezer. I remember the door shutting and not immediately being scared. There was a few moments of WOW THIS IS THE BEST DARK PLACE EVER!!! Then the air was used up. I can remember gasping for air, trying to feel around for door, then crying. I was terrified, my little mind didn't grasp that severity of this predicament because at 4 you don't really understand death. But I remember bracing myself and kicking with all my might gasping for air.
I finally got the door open and I remember gulping air and bolting up the stairs. I was hysterically crying and when I rounded the corner in to the living room I remember the look on my mom and grandma's faces. They had been catching up one minute and the next trying to decipher what happened from a screaming 4 year old. I dragged the downstairs and they saw the door open on the freezer and little scuff marks from my shoes on the walls inside.
Looking back this all happened in a matter of minutes but in my fearful mind it was hours, if not days.
I don't mind the dark, but to this day I don't like being in basements much or tight spaces.
What games did you play?
I had to do a lot of make believe growing up. My brother didn't really want his pesky little sister around so it was usually me playing dress up.
My grandma gave me a bunch of her old dresses from the 1950's and I would grab that and my old Fischer Price record player and my grandmas Andrew Sisters record and pretend my family had to escape city bombings in during WW2.
Or I used to move in to the bathroom and set up my bed in the tub and pretend I had this little cabin in the woods.
Next up: The teenage years.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
it's Wednesday, so you know what that means!
I have been a pinning fool this week peeps!
So let's get bombarded, shall we?
and because there are only 89 more sleeps until Christmas:
There you have it! Have a great day everyone!!!
So let's get bombarded, shall we?
and because there are only 89 more sleeps until Christmas:
There you have it! Have a great day everyone!!!
Friday, September 21, 2012
Fall Lust list
Every year around this time I start craving everything fall, so much so that I wanted to put them in list form (cause we all know how much this chick loves a good list).
Here are a few of the things I am graving for fall:
Gold or Mustard color anything. During this time of year I always seem to gravitate towards this warm color.
Two things about this, 1. I love me some ivory during the fall and winter months, 2. I love a good sweater dress. Ivory does the same for me in the cooler months as crisp white does in the summer. You just HAVE to do it.
Something I am noticing is my love affair with gray is heating up. This year I am in love with neutrals like brown and gray together. I have always been way to matchy matchy with black tones going with black accessories and the same goes for brown. I guess I am up for something wild this fall.
Nautical for cooler temps. Nautical themed pieces have such a strong connotation for summer but I am loving this fall twist.
Color pop jeans. I haven't had the guts to get a pair but if I do I think I am going to go all out and get the honeycomb color. When in Rome, right?
These are perfect for wall, warm, caramel colored leather.Swoon!
This color is called running with wolves and it is a perfect for fall.
When the Hunter green nail polish hit the trend list for fall I was more than amped. This color is called Billionaire
I am crushing hard for rose gold this season too. It makes this boyfriend watch over the top feminine and has been the object of my hearts desire and is sitting on my amazon wishlist if anyone would like to gift it to me....anyone?
I love scarves but really don't know what patterns are cute, but the colors of this scream fall.
And finally...
Dark ombre hair. I didn't think I was a huge fan of the Ombre look in general because when you have the dark with much lighter hair on the bottom it just looks like your roots are growing out. This however is so subtle and warm. I am actually considering trying this.
There you have it. What are you lusting for this fall?
Pics via: amazon.com, target.com and oldnavy.com
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Mrs.G: Chapter one
The first chapter is Birth and Family.
I wasn't sure I was going to write this one because who really wants to know about my birth and my crazy ass family? Then I was like what the heck lets go balls to the wall and start from the very beginning.
What is your full name, do you have any nick names: Kathryn Dawn G@#%^, because my name is Kathryn I have a litany of nick names. My family all calls me Kate, in fact they do so much it weirds me out to hear them call me something else. Everyone else calls me Katy, I am Kathryn when I am in trouble with my dad and Kathryn Dawn when I get in trouble with my mom. Because of this whenever I get called Kathryn I always get that feeling in my stomach like I did something wrong, this causes problems with my old school grandma that refuses to call me anything else.
Because you don't see Kathryn spelled that way a lot and you never see Katy spelled that way, I get called Kathy a lot. I hate it. I am not a middle aged woman with a mullet and glitter kitten applique sweatshirt and turtleneck combo. You would think that the Katy Perry phenomena would have spread awareness to the world that there are other ways to spell Katie.
My Parents are Dennis and Frances. My mom was born in Cincinnati in a small German catholic community called Sedamsville and my dad was born in Bloomfield, Iowa. What you have never heard of Bloomfield? It's a small farm town in the south east tip of Iowa, there were more students in my high school than there are in Bloomfield... and surprisingly it is one of my favorite places.
I was born here in Columbus on a hot summer night. That Wednesday was supposed to be like every other day. My dad was at a softball game and my mom and brother were at my Grandma's house cleaning up for dinner. The week before my mom had been hit with a foul tip, right in the stomach and still had a bruise, my brother thought it was cool because he got to keep the ball. After getting dinner cleaned up my mom went to the bathroom and her water broke. My mom is an ox, she never complains and probably thought her contractions were just irritating and not contractions.
When my mom told my grandma she wanted my brother to shower before they left and my mom said they didn't have time. This was a lie, she just thought it was dumb to keep a woman in labor waiting.
Remember when I said my dad was at a softball game, well while all this was happening he was still at the game. Mom phoned a family friend to drive to the field to get him. My dad got to the hospital, tight softball Jersey, shorts that were way to short and my brothers sweat band around his head. It was the 80's, anyway, my dad ran right past my Grandma and my brother and to this day my brother swears that is the moment he knew he had lost his father.
In the delivery room my dad asked Dr.Kennedy if she was going to give him a girl and she said "you kind of already decided that".
3 hours later WHOOP there I was.
11:21pm 5lbs, 4oz.
I was a month early.
The baseball induced my moms labor.
I joined my brother Nick, my only blood sibling and Cory joined us 5 years later when my dad started dating my Step mom.
I am not really close with either of my siblings, Nick because of the age difference and Cory because I rarely see him and he kind of labeled him self the black sheep of the family and for a few years was determined to ruin any chances he had at a life. He is back on track now though and I pray he keeps it together this time.
When I am around my brothers we are great together, we laugh and joke but when we separate and go on to our respected lives we won't talk for months.
So chapter one is done. Do we like this idea? It is actually asking more questions but I don't want to make this one chapter in to a novel.
I wasn't sure I was going to write this one because who really wants to know about my birth and my crazy ass family? Then I was like what the heck lets go balls to the wall and start from the very beginning.
What is your full name, do you have any nick names: Kathryn Dawn G@#%^, because my name is Kathryn I have a litany of nick names. My family all calls me Kate, in fact they do so much it weirds me out to hear them call me something else. Everyone else calls me Katy, I am Kathryn when I am in trouble with my dad and Kathryn Dawn when I get in trouble with my mom. Because of this whenever I get called Kathryn I always get that feeling in my stomach like I did something wrong, this causes problems with my old school grandma that refuses to call me anything else.
Because you don't see Kathryn spelled that way a lot and you never see Katy spelled that way, I get called Kathy a lot. I hate it. I am not a middle aged woman with a mullet and glitter kitten applique sweatshirt and turtleneck combo. You would think that the Katy Perry phenomena would have spread awareness to the world that there are other ways to spell Katie.
My Parents are Dennis and Frances. My mom was born in Cincinnati in a small German catholic community called Sedamsville and my dad was born in Bloomfield, Iowa. What you have never heard of Bloomfield? It's a small farm town in the south east tip of Iowa, there were more students in my high school than there are in Bloomfield... and surprisingly it is one of my favorite places.
I was born here in Columbus on a hot summer night. That Wednesday was supposed to be like every other day. My dad was at a softball game and my mom and brother were at my Grandma's house cleaning up for dinner. The week before my mom had been hit with a foul tip, right in the stomach and still had a bruise, my brother thought it was cool because he got to keep the ball. After getting dinner cleaned up my mom went to the bathroom and her water broke. My mom is an ox, she never complains and probably thought her contractions were just irritating and not contractions.
When my mom told my grandma she wanted my brother to shower before they left and my mom said they didn't have time. This was a lie, she just thought it was dumb to keep a woman in labor waiting.
Remember when I said my dad was at a softball game, well while all this was happening he was still at the game. Mom phoned a family friend to drive to the field to get him. My dad got to the hospital, tight softball Jersey, shorts that were way to short and my brothers sweat band around his head. It was the 80's, anyway, my dad ran right past my Grandma and my brother and to this day my brother swears that is the moment he knew he had lost his father.
In the delivery room my dad asked Dr.Kennedy if she was going to give him a girl and she said "you kind of already decided that".
3 hours later WHOOP there I was.
11:21pm 5lbs, 4oz.
I was a month early.
The baseball induced my moms labor.
I joined my brother Nick, my only blood sibling and Cory joined us 5 years later when my dad started dating my Step mom.
I am not really close with either of my siblings, Nick because of the age difference and Cory because I rarely see him and he kind of labeled him self the black sheep of the family and for a few years was determined to ruin any chances he had at a life. He is back on track now though and I pray he keeps it together this time.
When I am around my brothers we are great together, we laugh and joke but when we separate and go on to our respected lives we won't talk for months.
So chapter one is done. Do we like this idea? It is actually asking more questions but I don't want to make this one chapter in to a novel.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
'Tis the upcoming season... and other pins
It's OHP Wednesday! I found this past week, with the air getting cooler and the fact that their are only 96 days until Christmas, that the majority of my pins had a theme...
CHRISTMAS!!
but first...
I need to commission one of my knitting friends to make me this... Please?!? I will pay you in baked goods!
I.DIE.
Ok. Enough fluff. On to the hard stuff.
I actually already have an elf and husband doesn't know it but we are going to take turns hiding him.
Ok, so maybe the theme was basset hounds... but to me they are like Christmas.
Remember to link up!
CHRISTMAS!!
but first...
I need to commission one of my knitting friends to make me this... Please?!? I will pay you in baked goods!
I.DIE.
Ok. Enough fluff. On to the hard stuff.
I actually already have an elf and husband doesn't know it but we are going to take turns hiding him.
Ok, so maybe the theme was basset hounds... but to me they are like Christmas.
Remember to link up!
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
1/2 a thought
Surgery update.
I had my medical evaluation and had gained 5lbs since March...not awesome
The lady processing my information couldn't have been a pound under 300 if I had to guess.
The whole situation made my inner monologue take off.
If she works here why hasn't see had a surgery? I feel silly for being here having her work up my information.
I met the doctor, a nutritionist, and the insurance rep.
Everything went ok, I found out we are going to have to contribute more than we thought, which isn't stellar but it was expected.
I am iron, vitamin D and B12 deficient.
That explains the lethargy and bouts with sickness.
I made the next round of appointments but there was this pestering doubt that kept floating in front of me like a gnat. I would swat it away but it kept coming back.
I am not going to say I wouldn't have the surgery and that I am having second thoughts, cause if they called me tomorrow saying some anonymous donor covered the bill and I can have it tomorrow I would.
So I say I am having half of a thought.
I don't know what it is, actually, I kind of do.
They surgery I originally went in for started to look like a mistake and from what I had gathered from forums and talking with someone that had had the surgery, the lap band is more like a diet aid. It didn't give them the results they wanted and they fell back in to the same bad eating habits and put weight back on. Some even went back under the knife for a more evasive surgery.
So I was left with chance.
Should I chance it and get the lap band or do I want to nip the potential problem in the bud and go head and get the sleeve?
The sleeve for those of you not up on the gastric surgery lingo is where they remove most of your stomach and leave you with a small section. Your stomach will eventually stretch and get bigger, but not to the football size it is now.
I couldn't believe that I was considering removing more than half of a body organ. I mean isn't that usually a bad thing?
My main question with the doctor was could I have a normal and healthy pregnancy with either surgery. They said for a post surgery patient yes, for a normal person no, it wouldn't be considered normal. Normal for post surgery because I would already be on supplements so they would just add more on, not normal for a non surgery person because I would be taking fist fulls of pills to make sure me and baby were as healthy as could be.
Make sense?
I am a worry wart in the worst way (say that three times fast), I started having these far fetched scenarios where I would have the surgery, pic up some germ or virus like the plauge or a flesh eating virus and then my body then becomes riddled with infection and I almost die. But I don't because in my scenarios I always get saved in the nick of time, but the doctor tells me my baby maker was so severely damaged that I can never have kids....
or the more realistic, what if I have the surgery and have difficult pregnancies, ones riddled with blood work, bed rest and pills.
I mean that could happen anyway but I would know that is just how my pregnancy is going and not because I had this surgery.
Then I start to think, Mrs.G you can do this, you are strong enough to take on this challenge, you see people like you do it everyday.
Then the little asshole in my head says I can't.
This is going to seem out of left field but stay with me.
I have been a nail biter for years, a serious one in fact.
But one day I painted my nubbin nails, and usually my nails get a little longer because who would want to gnaw on nails and get polish in their mouths too? Not me.
So I just kept them painted and all of a sudden my nails were growing, and soon they were just peaking out over the tops of my finger and now they are actual nails.
I just stopped biting them.
I haven't since, granted the temptation is their, but if it gets too strong I paint my nails and the temptation is gone.
I curbed my temptation by taking my mind off it and doing something productive for me not to bite my nails. Sounds like a mentality that could help me with my eating habits. When I am tempted to eat outside of a meal/snack time I need to do something productive.
If I can break a vice of mine that has plagued me for years who is to say I can't do this too?
I think I might give healthy eating and living one more strong go.
If it doesn't work, that I could still continue with the surgery, but knowing that I tried, this one last time would make me feel a lot better.
I am not sure if I am going to blog about it, updates here and there but not actual weekly updates or a dedicated blog series.
Just wanted to let you know where I am with everything.
Happy Tuesday!!
I had my medical evaluation and had gained 5lbs since March...not awesome
The lady processing my information couldn't have been a pound under 300 if I had to guess.
The whole situation made my inner monologue take off.
If she works here why hasn't see had a surgery? I feel silly for being here having her work up my information.
I met the doctor, a nutritionist, and the insurance rep.
Everything went ok, I found out we are going to have to contribute more than we thought, which isn't stellar but it was expected.
I am iron, vitamin D and B12 deficient.
That explains the lethargy and bouts with sickness.
I made the next round of appointments but there was this pestering doubt that kept floating in front of me like a gnat. I would swat it away but it kept coming back.
I am not going to say I wouldn't have the surgery and that I am having second thoughts, cause if they called me tomorrow saying some anonymous donor covered the bill and I can have it tomorrow I would.
So I say I am having half of a thought.
I don't know what it is, actually, I kind of do.
They surgery I originally went in for started to look like a mistake and from what I had gathered from forums and talking with someone that had had the surgery, the lap band is more like a diet aid. It didn't give them the results they wanted and they fell back in to the same bad eating habits and put weight back on. Some even went back under the knife for a more evasive surgery.
So I was left with chance.
Should I chance it and get the lap band or do I want to nip the potential problem in the bud and go head and get the sleeve?
The sleeve for those of you not up on the gastric surgery lingo is where they remove most of your stomach and leave you with a small section. Your stomach will eventually stretch and get bigger, but not to the football size it is now.
I couldn't believe that I was considering removing more than half of a body organ. I mean isn't that usually a bad thing?
My main question with the doctor was could I have a normal and healthy pregnancy with either surgery. They said for a post surgery patient yes, for a normal person no, it wouldn't be considered normal. Normal for post surgery because I would already be on supplements so they would just add more on, not normal for a non surgery person because I would be taking fist fulls of pills to make sure me and baby were as healthy as could be.
Make sense?
I am a worry wart in the worst way (say that three times fast), I started having these far fetched scenarios where I would have the surgery, pic up some germ or virus like the plauge or a flesh eating virus and then my body then becomes riddled with infection and I almost die. But I don't because in my scenarios I always get saved in the nick of time, but the doctor tells me my baby maker was so severely damaged that I can never have kids....
or the more realistic, what if I have the surgery and have difficult pregnancies, ones riddled with blood work, bed rest and pills.
I mean that could happen anyway but I would know that is just how my pregnancy is going and not because I had this surgery.
Then I start to think, Mrs.G you can do this, you are strong enough to take on this challenge, you see people like you do it everyday.
Then the little asshole in my head says I can't.
This is going to seem out of left field but stay with me.
I have been a nail biter for years, a serious one in fact.
But one day I painted my nubbin nails, and usually my nails get a little longer because who would want to gnaw on nails and get polish in their mouths too? Not me.
So I just kept them painted and all of a sudden my nails were growing, and soon they were just peaking out over the tops of my finger and now they are actual nails.
I just stopped biting them.
I haven't since, granted the temptation is their, but if it gets too strong I paint my nails and the temptation is gone.
I curbed my temptation by taking my mind off it and doing something productive for me not to bite my nails. Sounds like a mentality that could help me with my eating habits. When I am tempted to eat outside of a meal/snack time I need to do something productive.
If I can break a vice of mine that has plagued me for years who is to say I can't do this too?
I think I might give healthy eating and living one more strong go.
If it doesn't work, that I could still continue with the surgery, but knowing that I tried, this one last time would make me feel a lot better.
I am not sure if I am going to blog about it, updates here and there but not actual weekly updates or a dedicated blog series.
Just wanted to let you know where I am with everything.
Happy Tuesday!!
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
OHP Wednesday!
I love this time of the week, sharing my blog with new people and then of course stalking the numerous other blogs that link up.
I get so many new ideas from you ladies!
Here are some of my faves from this week:
On a side note, I made these for dinner one night this week. We wanted breakfast but I didn't want our standard eggs and bacon and I remembered I had this pin. They were AMAZEBALLS!!!! Go forth and make a batch, your world will forever be changed.
I get so many new ideas from you ladies!
Here are some of my faves from this week:
On a side note, I made these for dinner one night this week. We wanted breakfast but I didn't want our standard eggs and bacon and I remembered I had this pin. They were AMAZEBALLS!!!! Go forth and make a batch, your world will forever be changed.
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