a case of the bah-hum bugs

whiny post ahead.

This happened last year too but for a totally different reason.

In the effort to be as fair as possible Husband and I decided that we would alternate who's house we go to for the holidays. This is really the best solution and it is the fairest, at the time I was 100% behind our decision and gave us a little pat on the back for being so adult about it.

But now as the days are counting down to Christmas, I can say that I am not looking forward to it.

To clear the air am I looking forward to seeing the G family, I am looking forward to going out of town, and I am very looking forward to not being at work.

I am not sure how Mr. G did it, this time last year, me getting all excited and decorating and talking about "my family traditions" and blah blah blah, all the while he probably was feeling home sick. I know I already am and we are 18 days out.

This year is such a mix of emotion. We are so excited to be celebrating Christmas in our new home but as quickly as we moved in we are leaving for a week.

We bought a huge Christmas tree - one that the Griwolds would be proud of, but after it was in I just sat there and looked at it and said "what's the point?"I look around our new home and then look at my tub of Christmas cheer and grumble to myself. There is still so much to be done with the house do I really want to add putting up and taking down Christmas decorations? I can already tell you the answer to that.... no.

My family is broken and because of that we will be having 2 Christmas's none of which were elected to be in our home, I mean I am totally ok with not having to cook for a bunch of people but that would have be cause for me to decorate a little more.

Contradictory to what I said I am interested in to see the G's Christmas, see what traditions we will have in our house, go to worship with them, and just see my Husbands Christmas. I have never had a Christmas with his family before so it is like being let in to a little part of his life that I have never been in before.

Husband can see it on my face, or through the tears I shed at Chipotle last week how hard this is going to be for me (in my defense I am PMSing), with that being said I feel like he isn't going to make any concessions to make this any easier. For instance, last year I knew he was missing his fam, he didn't have to tell me I could ready it on his face, in his eyes. So I thought in a bid to bring a little bit of home to him for Christmas I surprised him and I made his mom's breakfast casserole, even though it wasn't even close to as good as hers he was very appreciative.

I was hoping this gesture would be reciprocated but when I asked if it would be rude of me to maybe ask for Cinnamon rolls instead (my mom always stopped by Panera for some pastry delights or Cinnamon rolls) he said it would be and that I HAD to have the casserole... to bad I don't like sausage or scrambled eggs. I tried to plead my case that it wasn't to be rude but it was to remind me of home he said he would try but couldn't guarantee anything. Then just last night I said that I would be taking some of my favorite Christmas movies with me to watch while we were down there one being The Muppet's Christmas Carol, his response was he hated the muppets and I finally said "I don't care if you watch it with me or not, I am watching it."

I know he isn't doing it to be mean, or rude he is just THAT excited to be going home for Christmas, I just wish he would use his past experience and be a little more sympathetic towards what I am going to go through this year.

ok I am not tired of my own whining...