Frustrated

First, let me apologize for my absence. With school and getting sick and still being sick I pretty much have shut the world out for fear of infecting people with my snot.

Anyway, I am frustrated.

Back story:
When hubs and I got married I was/am terrible with keeping up with my bills. Well, ok I will give myself more credit because not it isn't just about me so I think that I would be better at it but he and I are not willing to risk it.

So when we exchanged vows and combined lives, husband took over all financial transactions. It was a weight lifted off of me but something always and still erks me. I know I wasn't stellar with my money but it was mine, and I did with it as I pleased. One of the hardest, on going struggles that I have is the fact that nothing of what I make is mine.

I have to ask for everything, or be told if it is ok. It is like I am a child again and 8 out of 10 times I ignore it. But for some reason it is popping back up and is as annoying as ever.

Fast forward to present day:
Out of this whole home buying process, buying the house wasn't the expensive part. It was closing the account that had to deal with the apartment. Even though I called everyone, canceled service, transferred service, or whatever the necessary transaction was we were still screwed over, by our old apartment complex and gas company.

Even though our apartment sat empty for 2 months with the thermostat set at a balmy 50 degrees, we still racked up almost total a $300 gas bill. Husband and I were floored and after finding out that the gas company was a bunch of incompetent boobs and were were flat out lied to by our old land lords we decided, against my bitter (yes I meant to say bitter and not better) we decided to pay the bill.

Then things kept compounding, even though I received a cancellation number from the cable company and they had had their equipment for over a month they still thought it was necessary to charge us for a whole month and then one day cut off our Internet.... I was at my wits end fighting with people.

Needless to say we were poor for the month of January and in to February. But this pay period husband was excited, he was getting extra moula due to working holiday and overtime. I was excited because he was excited. I was excited to have a cushion again and to maybe go out on a date with my husband.

But, I had a brilliant idea, I am always trying to save us money only to be met with an eye roll, a snide remark or heavy sigh.

Ideas I have presented to my husband:
getting the Sunday news paper to get coupons
shopping at one of the grocery stores that have food and fuel perks
shopping at the stores that have 10 for $10 mix or match sales

all to be met with an excuse as to why we can't do it.

How we shop now is dropping anywhere between $150-$200.00 on 2 weeks worth of groceries. I feel like this is waste full. Fresh produce doesn't last 2 weeks and I am not going to lie, when I make a menu plan 2 weeks in advance there is a very HIGH possibility that I don't want that anymore. Say I am picky, whatever but would you like your meals planned 2 weeks in advance?

The BRILL ANT idea I proposed to husband.

Shop at Sam's club for non perishables, paper products and drinks and also only meal plan for a week. That way more fresh produce can be used and not wasted and also because we are buying certain things in bulk (at very affordable prices) only once a month we are saving money in the end.

He shot it down before he ever heard it by saying a comment under his breath.

I am so over it, I am over not knowing where we are, I am over not having any money of my own, I am over not being able to decide how to use any money.

If I have to sit and listen to him hem and haw about money don't I deserve the same respect when I am trying to save us money and ease the burden?

My goings on.

Well hello there.

I just remembered that I had a blog... not really I remembered. And I have been avoiding it because I have been a busy bee and a boring....bug? Is that the insect equivalent? Go with it.

life at the G house hold is pretty bor-ing, which a touch of blah. I think I am coming down with something but I refuse to acknowledge it... except for right then.

Last week I started Bible study and I had an midterm, WHICH I ROCKED!!

Yeah that's right, I am becoming an expert in marriage and family relations. It was weird though on the mid term when it asked why this type of stimuli was important to some people of body image issues.
A. Masturbation
B. Sexual Intercourse
C. Falito
D. Sexual Fantasy

I am not in even kidding, this was an actual question on my mid term.


Ok on to the bible study. I am knew to my faith, not a faith in particular but new to the whole concept in general. The past bible studies I have done have been great and helped me a lot. This one though, is hard.

I know it is the lady who is leading us, and this week will be someone new, but doing the home work this week was rough. Because I am new to faith and went for so long with out my beliefs are now blended in to my own special mix. I know a persons life experience can drastically impact their faith and for her she had it rough an abusive manic depressive husband who later committed suicide, a son that wants nothing to to with her, a daughter in lawn that passed suddenly, a past that included a relationship with a married man. She had a life changing ah ha moment, which brought her to her faith.

I have always had trouble with people that preach at me, and not to me. One's who make me feel wrong or bad for what I believe because that's not what is written in the bible, or that isn't God's word. I know what I believe is outside traditional Christian thinking, but I still have faith, I still believe in God, but sometimes it isn't good enough for some people and that is how I felt with her.

I did learn from her though, and that is what is important right?


Welp that is about all I have right now. I have a mid term this weekend, and 2 papers due next week... yay.

oh, and the answer to the question was Sexual Fantasy.

Much Love, Ladies!!!!