Blue

I am getting married and I thought I had this under control but the stress has arrived and I see it looming. The dark clouds arrived yesterday at work. I talked to the photographer about changing the package we were originally interested in ($2500.00) to something cheaper and she is very sweet and willing to work with me. If we get her 25% of the of money by February 18th which would be $500.00 dollars. I can feel my shoulders cramping up and I immediately call Matt and tell him and he says he doesn't have it, which I already knew. I said why not take it out of the money my dad is giving me and then put it back in once we have it. He tells me he is worried because he doesn't know when we will have that kind of money. I am kind of dumb struck.

So then we get off the phone and I start to think about that conversation and previous ones that we have had and I start to get angry. He doesn't want to go in to debt with this wedding, yet he is the one the pushed for 9-6-09 when I said maybe we should wait until July of 2010 because I would be out of school and he would have been working for a year. No, No he said he didn't want to wait that long to marry me. And like a sap I melted and signed a contract for 9-6-09. I mean don't get me wrong I didn't want to wait either but at least I was trying to make it easier on us.

So we got in to this fight about where the money is going to come from. I told him we totally aren't on the same page because he really wants a honeymoon (which his parents are paying for) and I want the wedding. I think it is so dumb to spend that much money to go some place tropical (like he hasn't been going there at least once a year since he has been in high school) to lounge around and be together. I rather share one of the most important days in our relationship with our friends and family and Celebrate.

So I am at a loss. I don't what to do. I can't charge anything because I no longer have a credit card and I have to start paying back my loans. Cause oh yeah I am putting my dream on hold so the burden of paying for the wedding doesn't solely fall to him. I thought at this point in time school is a luxury that can be but on the back burner until the we are Mr. and Mrs. but he is afraid of bad credit score? Which is more important? We won't see eye to eye. How do I handle this one?