The look

I have been trying to find the extra's for my wedding day. I have found my earrings

and the comb

So this weekend I will be hopefully getting an appointment with Cindy/Violet for August.

This is what I am thinking:

OR

I have come to grips with the fact that my hair probably won't be long enough to do this

So I am going to have to do an up do. I like how simple the first picture is, with it being far set on her hear and loose I think it gives it a romantic feel. The second one, the back is just kickin. maybe I can get Cindy/Violet to some how combine the two. We shall see.

MOB

My mom has picked out her dress and is ordering it this weekend. She is really nervous about it because my mom is scared to love the dress and herself.

She is so worried that she is going to look frumpy, doubty and every other negative word you could call your self ( and people wonder where my excellent self esteem came from). I just whish she could see how beautiful she is. How beautiful she is going to look....

This is the dress she has chosen ( with a long skirt). I think she is going to look amazing!

March 31st

Alot of stuff has happend since I last blogged so be prepared for a scatter brained blog.....

March 31st will be the best day ever!!! That will be the day that I get my tax refund back. Granted it is all going towards wedding stuff but it is fora good cause.

I can mark off my list:
Invites
favors
gift tags
cake topper
shoes
veil
comb
jewelry
Matt's Ring

I am so excited that I can feel like I am doing something productive for my wedding instead of standing still.


I went to Cincy Bridal and Formal this past weekend to order Julie's bridesmaid dress and decided while I was there I would check on my dress ETA. They told me early June which I hope means late May but I won't get my hopes up. I also got to try on the infamous birdcage veil with my dress and I can put that notion to rest. It really didn't look right with my dress, so traditional veil it is.

The tux's are taken care of, I was actually surprised at the tux's Matt chose. I mean I wasn't expecting him to go with a coat and tails but he is pretty traditional. I think all the guys will look great.

To do's for this week include:

-Schedule my hair trial. Cindy works for Charles Penzone so I have to get in the book soon.

-Hopefully get the deposit for the photographer together. Found out they don't take credit cards, so I have to come up with $2200.00 in bill or check form.

This weekend is going to be fun. Megan, Erin, Jen and I are going back down to Cincy to order all the dresses. I can't wait, I haven't seen Megan and Erin since December.

It is official we are having our rehearsal dinner at Confluence Park. Matt's mom gave them the deposit so that is another thing to mark off the list.

Things are really starting to pick up now. I have a count down on my computer at work and today I looked at it, I mean really looked at it and it sunk in that I only have 165 days. I know that it seems like a lot, but geez we are almost done with March which is one month closer to September. It will be here before I know it.

Last night I got a phone call from Matthew, and by the sound of his voice I knew it wasn't good news. I thought to myself what now, does his mom want to invite the tri-state area to our rehearsal dinner? It all seems trivial now, let her if she wants.

Matthew's Dad waited for his mom to go to bed so he could talk to his son with out being interupted by his wife who will quickly call him out. Matt's dad said that he admired him for the effort he is putting forth on the job front, but the truth of the matter is, if he doesn't have a job we can't get married (which he does have a point). Then it hit....

" If you don't have a job in a few months, I think you should break your lease, pack up your stuff and go."

As he is telling me this the anger starts to build up.... Matt continues....

" I think you should go stay with your sister for a couple of weeks and check things out, go stay with your Grandma and check things out."

I can feel my blood pressure rising, the heat on my face, the white of my knuckles clenched around a ball of jeans.

Matt replies "Dad, Katy took summer semester off to pay for the wedding."

"She is going to be in school forever."

I don't even know what to say about any of this. I ask Matt to give me a straight answer and I ask him "Does your dad want us to break up?" Matt reassures me and says no and I tell him that I can't do long distance again, I don't think I have it in me. I had to be strong for 5 years and what can I say I am soft now.

I feel like I now know what his dad really thinks of me. I am the one holding his son back, I am the one that is hindering his full potential. Even after his dad warned him he still moved up here to be with me.

I feel attacked, I feel like I am not good enough for him and its not Matthew that has made me feel that way it is his Dad...

Does he think this every time he sees me? I am afraid of Matt resenting me in the end.

I just don't know what to think anymore.

I am all alone....

Literally! Matthew left today for a long weekend in Alabama, which I think he needs. He is getting a "little" homesick he says but I think it is more than just a little . So I will come home to a human less apartment, greeted by a bewildered basset who hasn't been locked up for more than a couple of hours since December.

I will say now that Matthew is on the road there are endless possibilites on how to spend these few days alone. Cleaning is totally on the bill of fare, I want Matt to not know where he is when he walks in the door. Girls night with Crystal is Saturday, which will be fun I get to cook and I mean cook like I did in school. Sunday is lunch with my brother and sister-in-law which will be nice since I haven't seen them since January.

I actually like being alone. I like being able to do what I want when I want and I haven't had that for quite some time. So this is going to be a good weekend.... lets hope the weather is nice too!!!!

Meeting with Pinnacle tonight

Tonight is the planning meeting at Pinnacle with Lisa. I am pretty excited, it something to mark off my list. We are going to be planning the outside set up and decor, the interior set up and decor ( I am using their hurricanes, votives, candles, place settings, table numbers). Matthew is excited because he has never seen Pinnacle in person before. I will take pictures and post later.

My 37

I know that there is this thing going around 10n in 1001 days. Well after talking with Crystal she said she wanted to do a modified version, like 37 in 365 days and I thought that was brilliant. So after some thought I decided to make a list and here it is...
1.Loose weight
2. Get Married
3. Go back to school
4.Stop biting nails
5. Go to Grandma's once a week
6. Move in to a bigger place
7. Talk to Nick once a week
8. Talk to Dad once a week
9. Audition for a show
10. Take voice lessons
11. Get my Scuba Certification
12.Have a girls night once a month
13.Get a massage
14.Drink (at least) 2 bottles of water every day
15.Clean my car out once a month
16.Have a date night with Matthew once a week
17.Hang up my laundry when it is clean
18.Go to Iowa
19.Buy a Coach purse
20.Scrapbook my France and Hawaii trips
21.Join UALC
22.Clean the Apartment every Saturday
23.Take Dot for a walk (weather permitting) every night
24.Get 8 hours of sleep every night
25.Read 4-6 books
26.Start Highland dancing again
27.Write all my recipes down
28. Get my teeth whitened
29. Go to a Broadway show
30. Work on having more Patience
31. Try a new recipe every week
32.Give my time or Money to charity
33.Go to the events Ohio has to offer: Red, white and boom, Jazz and ribs fest, Ren Fest, Greek Festival, the Latino festival, Gallery hop, Picnic with the pops just to name a few
34.Try a new restaurant every month
35.Do something big for New Years
36.Go to a concert this summer
37. Learn the dance to "Single Ladies"

I know some may sound corny but her its what I want to achieve.