Birth "Wishes"

When I mentioned a birth plan to my doc you could tell in the eye roll and the forced control in her voice that she wanted to tell me why bother? Nothing against her, she has a very dry personality and I get it, she was probably fearing I was/am one of those women that laminate the damn thing.

She said if it would make me feel better to do some research and see what I would and wouldn't be comfortable with that was fine but she wanted to reiterate that even though it is black and white doesn't mean the birth will be that way.

I told her that I am going to be as go with the flow as my personality will allow but I thought it was important to see what she was comfortable accommodating and that the staff working with us know that we were planning on a natural birth. She said go for it.

I looked for some samples of birth plans and some of them seemed really demanding or no if, and's or buts about it and that wasn't how I wanted to come across, I mean can you imagine being a seasoned nurse and this first time mom comes in with a list of demands? I wanted to make sure they were respected as the health professionals they are so they respected my wishes.

I remembered a mommy blogger Jen @ Babymakingmachine.com wrote one with her daughter and looked to it for guidance. OK I pretty much janked the opening because she words it so perfectly.


This is what I came up with:

Dear Doctors, Nurses and Attending Staff:

First off I want to thank you so much for being here and helping my daughter and me on this very special day. You choosing this profession shows me you must love babies and new mothers so I’m looking forward to getting to know you over the next little while. This is our first baby, her name is Sarah, and we’re very excited to meet her.

I know some women come in with a set “birth plan” and others I’m sure don’t have anything of that sort, I decided to take a slightly different approach to thinking about today and write some “birth wishes” since I know I can’t plan everything to a T, and ultimately, my baby girl is in charge. Having said that, there are some things I’d like to avoid unless absolutely necessary and certain things I’d prefer.

·         My husband, Matthew will be present for both Labor and Delivery and we will have the assistance of Kelley Daniel (Doula) during the laboring process.

·         To help me “stay in the zone” I would appreciate a quiet room and no excess staff please.

·         I would like the lights to be dimmed and I have brought music to help me focus

·         I have brought my own gown, it is great for breastfeeding and I made sure it is easily accessible for you.

·         I prefer intermittent fetal motoring so I can have more mobility as well as minimal vaginal exams

·         I’d prefer to avoid Pitocin and wait for my water to break on its own.

·         I think it is important for everyone working with us to know we are striving for a med free birth. I will be using meditation and other natural techniques to deal with the pain, please do not offer me any pain medication.

·         During the pushing stage I would like the opportunity to try different positions

·         I would like to avoid an episiotomy and try to slow down pushing in order to allow my body time to stretch.

·         I would like to be offered the mirror to see Sarah

·         I would like to catch Sarah if possible, if not PLEASE place her directly on my belly after birth.

·         After the cord stops pulsing, Matthew would like to cut the umbilical cord.

·         I will be encapsulating my placenta and have filed the appropriate paper work before hand; Kelley Daniel will be handling this process.  

·         We are requesting to not use, if possible, the prophylactic eye drops

·         Please, let’s delay the standard tests and screenings until we have had some bonding time and have established breast feeding (at least 30 min).

·         Speaking of breastfeeding, we are choosing to exclusively breast feed so please no nipples, pacifiers or formula.

·         We would like Sarah to stay with us at all times, so please perform all exams and procedures in the room with us and also there will be no nursery visits.

·         Please hold off on giving Sarah a bath right away.

Of course all of the above is how we all want things to go but like I said before I can’t plan everything to a T, so if an emergency with me or Sarah arises:

·         In case an emergency caesarian is necessary, and if there’s time, please give my husband and me a few moments to discuss our options in private before asking for written consent.

·         Ideally I’d like to remain conscious for the procedure.

·         Please show me Sarah immediately after she’s born, if possible I’d like to have a hand free to touch her.

·         Once Sarah is ready to leave the OR so they can finish up, or if she has any problems, we would like my husband to stay with her.

My husband, OB and I have discussed these wishes before and we all understand that things can change and these are my preferences.

Thank you again so much for attending my birth! It’s going to be an exciting day!

So there you go, a copy of the approved birth plan. Would you use a birth plan?