what does it mean?

Ok.

I have been having some really really strange dreams. So strange mind you that I am too afraid to look them up of try to delve in to their meaning.

In the past 2 weeks these are some of the doosies I have had:

1. My company had been sold to doll company and we hadn't been told. We walked in to our office to find that our desks had been taken over by the doll company employees and all of our personal effects were in a box under the desk. So we are all like are we fired? they said no, that our new offices were over by the conference room and y'all they were long tables with 5 or so computers on them we are pissed because we have no personal space. We all sit down and notice a bunch of little girls in the conference room and we are like is this a day care now too? No, these are your supervisors... SAY WHAT!?!?! Of course I get the stuck up one that is covered in glitter and looks like a princess. I call my husband and tell him what has happened and that I have to quit. He tells me to do what is best, so I am about to quite when a tiger striped ferret attacks another animal, as people are gathering around I shove my way up to the front and see a bloodied mess so what do I do? I throw my scarf on top of the fighting creatures and then yell at the fact they are getting it bloody. People just start to walk away and I am screaming YOU ARE GETTING BLOOD ALL OVER MY SCARF!?!??!!? Then they chaos stops and I pick up tiger stripped ferret and I can tell that he isn't mine and that I don't really like him. Well Some how I end up on the beach and it is right as there is a tornado coming and the sirens are going off, everyone is running up the dunes to what looks like houses but in fact are just garages. I start running with my tiger stripped ferret and I feel like I am missing something. My Husband is yelling for me to run faster and I pick up the pace but still feel this pull of sadness. I am about to get in to the garage when I look over my shoulder and see the tornado, and this little gray fur running after me. I don't know why but I feel this incredible sense of joy and turn around and start to run for her. It is like a phantom limb I just know her and need her with me. My husband is yelling after me and I scoop her up and run back. The Tornado is right on top of us and we can't get the door shut so we huddle in the middle of the floor and put the gray ferret in a hold right below me for safe keeping. The storm passes and we are all ok, ferret and all.

According to dream dictionary:

Ferrets: distrust or suspicion or a pun on searching

Blood: Represents life, love and passion.

Scarf: Self- restrictions

Tornado: over whelmed and out of control

2. I was at my grandma's house before work really early in the morning, the kind of early that the day is barely break through the night. I am there and she isn't and I am about to leave and I see a fed ex plane crash. I scream and start running, I know it landed somewhere behind her house and I can see the pillar of smoke. I run to a pond, and there is no smoldering wreckage once I am there, most of the plane hit the pond. I notice there are tons and tons of fed ex boxes every where and people are starting to come out of the wood work to see what the commotion was. We all start scanning the wreckage looking for the pilot but no one can be found. I notice the hand full of people starting to get louder and louder and turn to see them rummaging through the boxes and taking whatever they please. It finally hits me how far I have run and how effing cold it is out. So, I start rummaging as well to see if I can find something to layer. I get tons of jewelery, nothing to flashy, a yellow scarf, winter hat, sweaters, and some promo tee shirts from a earth friendly company. I start on my way back to my gmas and finally hear the sirens for the police and fire crew. Once back at her house I jump in to my red Honda fit ( not my car) and start to head to work (3 hours late) I have to make a stop at my Friend Erin's house to show her my car for some reason. At this point I call my boss frantic and tell him that I am on my way and he is so mad that I am late. I scream at him and say "DID YOU NOT HEAR ABOUT A PLANE CRASH? I WAS TOTALLY THERE SO BACK OFF!" I am traveling and I have to cross this bridge and I there are only 2 small metal rails and if you fall you fall. I am petrified but I have to get to work. I think to myself Oh my car is small enough I can do this, and some how I make it across and get to work. Nervous about all my FedEx loot in the back of my car.

According to Dream Dictionary:

Plane crash: You have set unrealistic goals for yourself

Cold: You are experiencing a breakthrough in some area in your life

Rummage/Search: you are searching for something in your life

Late: your dear of change and your ambivalence about seizing an opportunity. You may feel unworthy or unsupported

Bridge: crossing a bridge signifies an important decision or critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be positive.

So there is a little break down of my dreams. It is so strange to see how eerily on these have been...

and here is cute picture of a ferret.

like we were dating.

Friday night hubs was in an uber good mood, no work this weekend = happy hour for husband.

Only the happy hour consisted of our house, Barcardi Strawberry Daiquiri mix, and some pulled pork bbq sandwiches. I wasn't in the mood and I told him to not let that get him down, it wasn't a faux pas because at least I was drinking chocolate milk with him so he really wasn't drinking alone. Needless to say he got just a smidgen carried away.

The rest of the night was pretty much me laughing like a hyena at him, oh yeah, and me threatening his life for almost putting his bbq covered hands on the couch for balance.

Then the night took an interesting turn...

Hubs: (insert drunken slur) "I have to go to the bathroom"

Me: "OK"

Hubs disappears upstairs, and I try to like the movie the Bounty Hunter....

20 min go by and it dawns on me that 1. my husband hasn't come downstairs yet and 2. it is quiet.... like too quiet.


at the top of the stairs Me: " Is that the shower?"


At the bathroom door Hubs: (muffled and incoherent singing)


I walk in to a wall of steam as I open our bathroom door and pull back the shower curtain to see my husband in his birthday suit sitting in the shower...


This was just the beginning of a night full of shenanigans from this fellow.


I will say after he paid a visit to the porcelain God and sobered up a bit we stayed up talked, watched tv, and just cuddled in bed for a good portion of the night. It was like we were dating again.


We kinda hit a funk the last few weeks and we were seriously lacking any form of intimacy. We were very much that scene from knocked up where Paul Rudd asks Leslie Mann if they are going to fool around and she grunts and says she is really constipated and she says with little enthusiasm. "I mean if you want to."


That night though, we reconnected. We talked about little stupid things that were an amazing breath of fresh air from the same old "Omg we are married what are we going to do with the rest of our lives" talk.

It was fun to go back to that place, that un complicated, fun place. It was very reminiscent of probably one of our favorite memories from our early years of courtship. It was a late night picnic on a hotel room floor where we really talked about "our future." It was the point where we realized we wanted to be together for always.

This reconnection couldn't have come at a better time with only a little over a week until our one year wedding anniversary.

We are both so baffled by this, because it just seems moments ago that we were hold champagne glasses toasting our union with friends and family.

The details of our one year is being held under tright wrap by the Hubs. I told him I really wanted to be surprised.

Now, my job is to find him an amwesome gift. I know the first year is paper.... anny ideas?

MIA

I guess I am not totally missing in action, it has only been a week since I last posted but still not my regular, blogging self.

This week I have become lost in my Pandora radio feeding my soul some new music. I love all types of music for different reasons, but it seemed as though I had fallen in to a music rut. I was only listening to the radio's 20 songs it plays all day, every day. It was becoming stale, so I plugged in and haven't turned back. I have actually discovered some amazing music that I am happy is in my life right now.

My current ipod play list:

Kiss with a fist - Florence and the Machine

Cosmic love - Florence and the Machine

Dog days are over- Florence and the Machine

Drumming song - Florence and the Machine

Hurricane Drunk - Florence and the Machine

Teenage dream- Katy Perry

Misery - Maroon 5

Bryn - Vampire Weekend

Ottoman - Vampire Weekend

What I wouldn't do - A Fine Frenzy

Be OK - Ingrid Michelson

First Train Home - Imogen Heap

As you can see I am falling hard for Florence and The Machine.

The music is heavy but there is something so whimsical about it.

Her voice is thick and wraps around you, she has the free vibrato of Janis Joplin but her voice is smooth like velvet. I know I am a little late finding her but I am so glad I did.

I am also doing a little reading :

I really want to see the movie but wanted to read the book first. I won't say I love it, I like it a lot though. I understand the importance of self discovery and I can relate to her depression but I am having a hard time with the breaking down and eventual collapse of her marriage. The book is written beautifully and in such a way that you feel you are listening to your best friend Liz tell a great story.

I had a whole big picture post with before and afters of the end table and book case revamp I did last weekend, but for some reason it won't post it. So, until it does post you will have to take my word for it that they look awesome.

In the up coming weeks I will be moving my Bro, SIL, and squeaker in to their first house and my mom out of hers.

Random thought: In 3 weeks I will have been married for a year.... WHERE DID THE TIME GO!?!?!?!

Anyway, I hope all you lovely ladies have a great weekend!

Ciao!

TGIF!

Hello Blog World!!!!

Can I get an Amen to Friday?! (Amen)

This Friday could not have come soon enough. This weekend was supposed to be a relaxer but instead is now jammed full..... jammed full of time spent with family and friends.

I am going to be doing it myself this weekend with a few DIY projects. I told my dad I am in a crafty mood, like crafty as in building stuff not crafting as glitter glue and macaroni. So, after a list of all my projects he finally caved...sucker.

This weekend will start off my DIY home decor with:

restoration: 2 end tables and a book case.

the plan for the end tables is a french country look, oak table tops and black bottoms. And the plan for the bookcase is to paint it a matte black and distress it a bit.

Then I have to finally pack up my room at my mom's house (insert sad face). My mom is moving out of my childhood home come October and it is both a relief and sad for me at the same time. I lived in that house 16 years so there are a lot of memories there but I know this is what is best for my momma so I will just have to suck it up.

Sunday is cook out with my bestie Crystal and her hubs. Pizza on the grill? Yes please!

I hope everyone has a great weekend, and stay cool!

Love!

almost a year later.

give or take a a month and some change. I loved this post and I thought that re-posting it once a year would be nice to see where I am in my life and in essence, fun to look back on.

1. I've come to realize that my hair: Should never have been cut... long tresses I miss you terribly
2. I've come to realize that when I talk: I sound unintelligent sometimes because I stumble over my words.

3. I've come to realize that if I make a mistake: I will own up to it... no matter how badly I still think I am right.

4. I've come to realize that all I really need is: I am not even going to be all "Love is all you need" because its not. I need more money, money to move on to the next phase of my life.

5. I've come to realize that I've lost: a sense of who I am.

6. I've come to realize that I hate: money. It isn't a new realization, it is just one that I realize every day.

7. I've come to realize that if I were to get drunk:I would more than likely cry then fall asleep.

8. I've come to realize that money: is the last piece of this puzzle

9. I've come to realize that when I get old: I am more than likely going to be just like my grandma.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always be: wanting more, making plans and have a to do list saved somewhere.

11. I've come to realize that I have a crush on: dresses. Cute and feminine.

12. I've come to realize that the last time I cried: was when I got drunk and told hubs how I really felt.

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone: is to smart for me.

14. I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning: that I am always running late.

15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night:I should pray but instead dwell on what happened during the day.

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about: everything.

17. I've come to realize that my life: filled with ups and downs and right now I feel like I am in a perpetual down.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook:I stalk

19. I've come to realize that tonight I will: want to sleep so badly but won't be able to.

20. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will: be watching the clock waiting for 5 o'clock

21. I've come to realize that I really want: someone to share this with

22. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to re post this is:someone who also thinks this is is cool.

23. I've come to realize that relationships: are never easy and a lot of work.

24. I've come to realize that love:is always changing

25. I've come to realize my best girl friends:are my sisters from different misters.... you see what I did there.

26. I've come to realize my best guy friends:need my help on situations much like my girlfriends do.

28. I've come to realize food can: fill a void

29: I've come to realize that this summer: was to hot.

30. I've come to realize heartbreak: weakens you forever

31. I've come to realize that my ex: would be my husband if I divorced him. I never dated anyone.

32. I've come to realize that my sister(s)?brother(s)are: good parents.

33. I've come to realize that crying:makes me want to punch myself in the face. I hate to cry. it doesn't make me feel better, just weak with a headache and snot on my face.

34. I've come to realize that death:is gonna happen, hopefully much much later rather than sooner.

35. I've come to realize that if I'm sick:I am very stubborn.

36. I've come to realize when I'm bored:I fill that time with food.

37. I've come to realize that work:is slowing taking away my need to be nurturing.

38. I've come to realize that family: isn't always your blood, but people you feel you around.

39. I've come to realize when I go shopping: it never ends well.

40. I've come to realize: that my answers have changed dramatically.

A life funkedy funk

I seem to be in a funk.

I like to entertain you guys with my musings and little diddys but when I sit down and put my fingers on the keys.... there is nothing. I guess it doesn't help that I sit down with nothing, not even an inkling as to what I may write.

My lack of creativity is mirroring my very feeling towards life. It started with my birthday. I was so excited, I never do more than just dinner but not this birthday.

The party was split down the middle of people outside and people inside so I didn't really get to enjoy any one group of people or conversation for very long. I am friends with a lot of different types of people and it seems that they didn't really mesh well.

I absolutely loved seeing everyone but it just seemed.... awkward, in a sense.

I don't know if it was the turning a year older or whatever but when I blew that candle out the light dimmed in me as well. The light has dimmed so much I feel lost in who I am and what I want. These questions are always on my mind, I am so consumed with them that I forgot to rinse the conditioner out of my hair this morning, they have been keeping me awake at night. I will lay there hoping as I put the question out there for God and the universe to hear, that I will feel a calm wash over me or a pang in my soul as to what the correct path is for me.

I just don't know what I want from me anymore. What I want will change from day to day and I can tell hubs is getting frustrated with this wishy washy roller coaster I have him on. I apologize everyday for it. I am even getting annoyed with myself for not being able to make a decision, a game plan what ever you want to call it. I want off this ride too.

The weeks since my birthday I feel like I am just going through the motions of my life and not really living it. I get up, I go to work, I go home, I go to bed.... repeat. Why can't I find the words? Why can't I find peace of mind?

Roadmaster's pain in my arse.

For the past few mornings, I have been caught behind the Roadmaster Student Driving Semi's on my way to work.

This is a problem.

I suffer from what people may call road rage, and to which I give them the finger and something like "ASS HAT"!!!

I digress....

the reason this is a problem is because this particular driver is terrified, or maybe allergic to, going over 30 miles and hour. I can only equate this fear, to when I was learning how to drive and how petrified I was. Still though, I tried to obey traffic laws, and maintain the motor vehicle I was operating all while OBEYING THE SPEED LIMIT!

I have made it to work by the skin of my teeth twice this week, and the thing is, I even left a little early today because of yesterdays incident. You should have seen my face when that effing truck cut off 3 cars to get across 2 lanes of traffic to get in front of moi to turn. It was a slow motion curse filled rant set to "O, Fourtuna" from Carmina Brauna.