A tale of 2 dresses

You have read in my blog about my finding "the dress" more than once, ordering the dress and even waiting, sometimes impatiently for it to come in.



On Friday I got the call that it was in. This vision in white that my heart was longing for would soon be in my hands. I make the trek down to Cincinnati and the words " I am here to pick up my dress," bring an instant smile to my face. I am there with my support, my bridesmaid Jen, I walk back and the sales woman unzips the bag and there it is, crisp white, beautiful embellishments catching the light. I just can't wait to slip in to it. My plan all a long with my wedding weight lost goal was to have the sales girl use the clippies when I got my dress. I thought loosing 25lbs was going to need at least one or two. Nope. That planned was dashed, I didn't let it get to me, I walk out of the dressing room and in to the mirror area and felt nothing. It wasn't the dream I had been having, the 5 antagonizing months of looking at my phone waiting for that call. I didn't feel butterflies or think about how happy I would be walking towards Matthew on my wedding day, I thought "wow this needs a lot of work."



I blamed everything except my poor judgement. It was the Bra that was making the top look funny, it was the fact that 25lbs wasn't enough, everything but my poor judgment. I paid for the dress and I walked out in more of a state of shock. I decided to rectify the bra situation asap so I went to a lingerie place right down the street. Once I got a bra on that fit and that kept the ladies under wraps I still wasn't in love. Everyone was telling hoe pretty the dress was and how good I looked in it but I didn't see it. I gave a brave face, I didn't cry and I kept telling myself you are crazy, you are crazy... it became my mantra for the day. I get home and I immediately go in to my room and try the dress on. I did it out of mirror range because I wanted to see it all done up. I get in it, put my seat belt on, zip it up and took a few steps in to sight of the mirror. I opened my eyes ( yes, they were closed because I was to afraid to look) and focused in on my worst nightmare. Me looking frumpy and fat in my wedding dress, This dress that was supposed to make me look and feel amazing be my dream dress and it had turned in to a nightmare. I got the dress off quickly because I could feel it rise in my throat, I ran to the bathroom and came out crying and cried all night long. What had I done? Every reason why this dress was the dress was lost to me.



All could do was cry. Leave it to me to screw up something as huge as my wedding dress. My mom was still out of town at this point at Matt didn't know what to do, say or how to console me. I don't like to be consoled, I just like to get it all out cry, scream and curse but nothing was working I just couldn't stop crying. My mom called me and she said she couldn't wait to see the dress, I told her that I would show her but I wouldn't put it on. I had a plan, I was going to only put it on 2 more times in my life, for the fitting and for the wedding day. My mom. my brother and my SIL all get to my apartment and my mom is all smiles, she is excited to see me and excited to see the dress. I was trying not to burst out in to tears and I tried to stay angry about it all. She finally says " let's see the dress!" The word made me cry, all I can say is " I am so unhappy with it, it's not even funny." I show them the dress and it is still beautiful, on the hanger. My brother leaves the room so I can show them why I am unhappy. I am still thinking I am crazy and that they are going to tell me so. I can see it on their faces, the look, the happy look of when I ordered the dress was gone and they saw what I had been talking about.



Julie, my savior took control of the situation immediately. She asked "ok, what do you like about it and what don't you like about it?" the only thing I can say I like about it is, the bead work. That was it. Nothing about how it fits, the shape anything.I felt like I was playing dress up and not in a good way. I keep saying that I look ridiculous.I finally say" I just need to get it off because it is making me more and more upset and maybe after I get it to Barbra she can make it work." Julie says to me" Katy, this is not how you are supposed to feel, you are supposed to feel beautiful, confident and that isn't going to happen with this dress." I shake my head in agreement because until that point I still hadn't said that I was wrong and this wasn't my dress. It was a hard dose to swallow. I couldn't see past the dress, I saw the model in it and she looked amazing so why couldn't I? I was trying to fit a figure I wanted and not the one I had. So Julie, still in charge says "get dressed, put some make up on and do your hair. We need to get you in something you love." We tried calling some bridal places but came to the conclusion that Davids Bridal would have my sizes, and dresses I could take home today. So we get online see a few we like and write the style numbers down and everyone, including Nick were on a mission... again.



We walk in to Davids and I tell them I need a dress and the date of the wedding and got crazy looks and all I wanted to do was crawl under a rock. I wanted to tell everyone what had happened so I wasn't THAT Bride. I start to look and Karolyn came up to me with a smile on her face and said "September girl you are-" I start to cry and tell her what happened. She said right then and there that she was going to do everything she could to find me the dress. We start talking I tell her that I am really open to anything, which when she started showing me dresses I realized I wasn't. She was digging and I went to the designer section and I find a dress out of the GALINA SIGNATURE collection and I think what the heck, I haven't tried on this style before. Karolyn meets up with me and I have my 3 starter dresses. I try on the first one and everyone loves it, it is a corset back, ivory side ruched dress with floral applique and minimal beading. I liked it but I didn't love it. It was so hard to let myself like something because I didn't want to make the same mistake again. Dress number 2 was a dropped waist ball gown with an ornate bodice and a organza bottom. I loved the way it made my body look, but it was to much. If it would have been the bodice it may have been the one. But I was so scared to say "I love it." Or "this is the one." I kept trying on dresses and then a champagne colored a-line caught my eye. It had the beading I liked, straps that made me feel secure, but of course It didn't fit. Karolyn being the fairy god mother she is got someone from alterations and they said they could put in a modesty panel and have it be a lace up gown. No one liked the dress, but I really did like it border line loved but everyone was bashing the dress so then I broke down again because I was so scared. Everyone was making me second guess myself, Karolyn had some of her people on the case to see if they could get me the dress in time, or to see if another David's had it in my size.

No luck. Or should I say just my luck. Karolyn is taking her time and being very patient with my and got some of the definite No's out of the room and brought some more in. She put the Galina one on top but I still had some fuller dresses to try on, as I am getting number 9 on she says pointing at the Galina dress " You know what, that is probably your dress and we are going through this drama for nothing." Number 9 was a definite no. It was the epitome of I am a plus sized bride and this is all they had for me. My mom says " try that silky one on." Defeated I turn around and I head back in to the dressing room for the last time. I slip off the full crinoline and Karolyn says that this "dress is more couture and is like Butta." I slip it on and I actually feel comfortable, secure. I walk out and I see my mom's face and I want to dart around but Karolyn stops me and says I need to get some clips, don't look yet. So I wait to the smiles of family and when she said "OK" I swung around to see a bride standing on a pedestal, I looked amazing in it. I did all the right things for me, it elongated my torso, made my waist look as tiny as ever, the neck line was sexy yet still covered me up. I danced to see if I could boogie and sure enough this was the dress. I felt a sigh of relief and a huge weight had been lifted. Karolyn asked me if this was the dress and I said I think it is. She gave me the little bell and it rang YES, THIS IS MY DRESS!!!!!!! I wanted to wear it home, I wanted to get married in it right now. Julie said "that's how you are supposed to feel." My brother said " It didn't actually hit me that I am watching my little sister try on wedding dresses until this dress." My mom was a sobbing mess.

I was elated and I couldn't wait to come home and put it on again. I called my girls and everyone came to see it that could. Jen is coming over tonight. The funny thing was none of the girls believed me about dress number one. I had to put it on every time, a new bridesmaid came over and all agreed that dress number 2 was the better choice. My MOH was afraid to tell me she liked the dress 2 better than dress 1.


Pics to come.....