blah.

I am feeling so blah this week.



I mean I know that I am down but I am also completely zapped of any ounce of energy and really could care less that I need to clean my house, that laundry needs done, that my dog needs a bath hella bad.... I just don't care.


My house is in shambles right now, every time I try to clean I just make a bigger mess that I can't seem to get myself out from underneath. I can't seem to do anything but sleep, and I can't even do that right.

Having family issues right now that are really breaking me down. I know all she has done for me, and I can't even begin to express just how greatful I am for the opprotunities that she has givien me. But that is the issue, no matter how much I try and tell her thank you, it is never enough. I made one false move and now I am selfish. She said that I need to start thinking more about other peoples needs and feelings before my own, and she knows that I am young and spontaneous, but that doesn't give me the right to be selfish.

I feel really disconnected from my life, from my relationships, from my home everything.

I think one reason I am feeling so disconnected from everything is because I feel like I am in some sort of emotional limbo. I can honestly say right now I don't know what I want and I hate it. Move? stay here? house?baby??school? new job? I couldn't even tell you what I want more, or what is the lesser of 2 evils.

Anyway.

In lighter news. I may be doing a bedroom face lift here soon. The comforter that we got for our wedding was nice when we got it but I have found that it stains and wears super easy and now it looks older than 10 months. Last night Dot got stuff alllllll over it and I doubt that it will come out. We washed it in hopes that maybe we can get a coffee table instead but we shall see.

My inlaws are coming in 3 weeks and bringing a bunch of furniture with them from my Husband's Grandmothers house. so not only do I have to deep clean my house but now I have to get rid of furniture to make for an easy transfer. I am excited to get more grown up furniture.