68 days and counting... quickly!!!

Because my last wedding update was sooooo angry I decided something light hearted and more updatey was a must. Having a pitty party isn't as much fun as a real one anyway....

I needed sometime to cool down and just go with it.

A little update for you:

My DIY list is dwindling down so far, I have one or two more to do and that is it. Those things being...

The place cards. I decided to go with just cards and not lemons and limes... I already feel wasteful enough with the amount of produce I am using so I axed that one a while ago. I really can't do this DIY until the RSVP deadline date anyway so this can't be done until after August 3rd.

The Recipe bags. In the theme of feeling wasteful, I decided that I should remedy the situation and make bags with lemon and lime themed recipes attached so people can help ease my conscience. Just a little!

The Programs. The ones that were purchased are poo.. they are extremely to small and I am going to remedy that by purchasing card stock and making my own. I have bought a stamp that will of course pull everything together because lets face it, I am more crafty than I thought.

This next one wasn't on the list but was said in conversation and is too cute to pass on. So being as on the RSVP card the guests only get to choose the protein they would like to have, A chalkboard will be strategically placed by the place cards to tell them what comes with their Ginger Crusted Salmon or their Prime Rib. Thanks ERIN!!!!!!!!!

I still love my dress... and I miss it... lol. It is at my Dad's, I thought that would be better considering I would try it on everyday and me being me would do something to it.

My first dress was taffeta and could take some bumps and tugs, but THE dress is charmuse and can't, it will snag very easily. So now I am on the hunt for a aisle runner so I don't ruin my dress, or my veil... that will make a very weepy bride.

I am thinking the day of, of having a bridal brunch for the ladies. The boys get to have a lunch so we will be super fabulous and have a brunch with glorious food and of course mimosas . I am not sure if we should have it in the room or go out for breakfast... we will have a lot of time to waste before we have to get ready for wedding. I will have to look in to it.

I am very proud to say that the size too small bridal shower dress, with the help of spanx, does fit... just not in the chest. My body is odd. Every time I have weight loss I go up a cup size, if I gain weight I go down. Right now I am a DD or DDD depending on where you go and how comfortable I really want to be. So I bought a new dress and I think that it will be just as cute, if not cuter!! it is a black and white polka dot halter and I am going to get a pair of Pink Heels to go with it!

I am feeling a Pic update once I get everything!

Tootles!

better

I am better now.

I cussed, I vented and now I am chill. I mean it could be worse..... Knock on wood!!!!

I can't wait for Friday. I am undecided about rehearsal, I think it is poo that they switched the time TWICE! I have more invites to do and it would be nice to get them done all on Friday.

Happy Hump day everyone!

I am done... venting ahead

I am so over this wedding stuff. I am ready to be married and not doing and dealing with all of this shit.

I am done with telling people how I feel about a certain situation and they tell me I should be feeling this way or I am over reacting.

- Well since I only plan on doing this once I am going to get it right. And last time I checked I am allowed to feel anyway I want too.

I am done with Matt's "Laid back attitude."

-Which means he could give a shit

I am done with Matt's Mom adding more people to the fucking guest list.

- I don't care if you were the president of the United States 75 people means 75 people. Not the 118 you have given me. I could care less about your reputation in the city , I don't even care that most won't come I mean it isn't like you have offered to pay for the extra invites and postage have you... no you haven't.

I am soooooooo done with Matt's mom trying to make up for her embarrassing rehearsal dinner and live vicariously through us.

- Host a different party if it means that much to you. Not the 98% of the wedding quest list the night before. I don't know why I can't let it go, People have made excellent points to try to help me let it go but when she wants floral centerpieces and a video montage it becomes a little much.

this was supposed to help but, yeah totally didn't....

Long weekend

My plans on going to Iowa this weekend were foiled, but I will get to see the family this coming weekend so not all is lost.

I decided to take the days off anyway. I needed some R & R and I needed to get stuff done.

On Friday, I had to wait until my mom got off of work to do anything so I had all day to do as I pleased. I decided to do something that I had been wanting to do... Lay out by the pool and soak in some sun. I was joined by the Fiance and my MOH, which was an awesome surprise!

After showering and cooling off a bit I went to Davids Bridal and I exchanged veils and dropped my shoes off to be dyed. I decided to go with a chapel length veil, it will match my train and is a beautiful addition to my wedding day look. My dress is super glamours, but isn't traditional so the touch of tradition with my plain veil is just right. It reminds me of the sound of music, when Maria get married... Oh I love it!!!!

My Dad got back from vacation on Friday and wanted to see my dress, so me and my dress made the drive to Grove City where she is to stay until I take it to Barbra's house for alterations. My dad didn't gush over it but he did say it was gorgeous and I looked gorgeous in it. I don't think it has hit him yet. After a little conversation we were standing around the island in the kitchen and he put his arm around me and said " My little girl is getting married." He is one not to think about things until he has too... which well be in a few short weeks.

Saturday I really didn't do much of anything, Matt had to work so I lounged around after rehearsal and tried to print off the Invites and the RSVP cards myself.... to bad the printer hates the invites. For some reason when the printer is printing the address on the bottom it looks like it is having a seizure. So I get the RSVP cards printed because it likes those I guess.

Sunday was fathers day and I had a nice time, we grilled out and Dad really liked his gift. I like spending time with my dad. It is a lot different now then it was 5 years ago, sometimes the old dad comes out. But I think with Dad I really have to focus on how are relationship is now and not then or in the future. If I think about the future he will let me down and if I look back it will be on how he has let me down. So as of June 23rd, 2009 we are doing great, tomorrow maybe a new day.

Monday, we grilled out... it was Matthews first try at burgers and it fell a little flat. He burned them a little ( a lot) but the brats were awesome! HE EVEN LIKED THEM!!! HA! Mom came over and joined us, she dog sat as we went to get our invites printed.

We go to Office Max and we check everything 2 times, spelling and everything. We pay for the job and luckily it is only $10.00 or so... We get in the car and Matt says "Oh Shit!" I slam on the breaks and he tells me his name is spelled wrong. Plain as day they spelled it Mathew....

I could write a book on mess-ups during the wedding planning process. So tonight we have to go buy 2 more boxes of invites and start all over again.... sigh.

This weekend the invites go out... God willing!

Wedding to do:
Get a wedding guest book
Get an aisle runner
Print, assemble and send out wedding invites

Rain, rain go away!!!!

So tomorrow is supposed to be our E-pic Session with the wonderful Kama D.

BUT IT IS SUPPOSED TO RAIN!

DRAT!

Learning

Through out this wedding planning process I have learned a lot about myself.

I am very specific

I am shy when it comes to speaking my mind about things I don't like

I don't like giving up the control

I am having trouble with just doing what I want. I am always thinking about outside influences and how my choices will affect them.

It's ok to make mistakes

I can bounce back from a bad situation

I have the greatest friends in the world

I have the greatest family in the world

I need to give people more credit

I need to be more open to opinions

People actually care about me and love me.

A tale of 2 dresses

You have read in my blog about my finding "the dress" more than once, ordering the dress and even waiting, sometimes impatiently for it to come in.



On Friday I got the call that it was in. This vision in white that my heart was longing for would soon be in my hands. I make the trek down to Cincinnati and the words " I am here to pick up my dress," bring an instant smile to my face. I am there with my support, my bridesmaid Jen, I walk back and the sales woman unzips the bag and there it is, crisp white, beautiful embellishments catching the light. I just can't wait to slip in to it. My plan all a long with my wedding weight lost goal was to have the sales girl use the clippies when I got my dress. I thought loosing 25lbs was going to need at least one or two. Nope. That planned was dashed, I didn't let it get to me, I walk out of the dressing room and in to the mirror area and felt nothing. It wasn't the dream I had been having, the 5 antagonizing months of looking at my phone waiting for that call. I didn't feel butterflies or think about how happy I would be walking towards Matthew on my wedding day, I thought "wow this needs a lot of work."



I blamed everything except my poor judgement. It was the Bra that was making the top look funny, it was the fact that 25lbs wasn't enough, everything but my poor judgment. I paid for the dress and I walked out in more of a state of shock. I decided to rectify the bra situation asap so I went to a lingerie place right down the street. Once I got a bra on that fit and that kept the ladies under wraps I still wasn't in love. Everyone was telling hoe pretty the dress was and how good I looked in it but I didn't see it. I gave a brave face, I didn't cry and I kept telling myself you are crazy, you are crazy... it became my mantra for the day. I get home and I immediately go in to my room and try the dress on. I did it out of mirror range because I wanted to see it all done up. I get in it, put my seat belt on, zip it up and took a few steps in to sight of the mirror. I opened my eyes ( yes, they were closed because I was to afraid to look) and focused in on my worst nightmare. Me looking frumpy and fat in my wedding dress, This dress that was supposed to make me look and feel amazing be my dream dress and it had turned in to a nightmare. I got the dress off quickly because I could feel it rise in my throat, I ran to the bathroom and came out crying and cried all night long. What had I done? Every reason why this dress was the dress was lost to me.



All could do was cry. Leave it to me to screw up something as huge as my wedding dress. My mom was still out of town at this point at Matt didn't know what to do, say or how to console me. I don't like to be consoled, I just like to get it all out cry, scream and curse but nothing was working I just couldn't stop crying. My mom called me and she said she couldn't wait to see the dress, I told her that I would show her but I wouldn't put it on. I had a plan, I was going to only put it on 2 more times in my life, for the fitting and for the wedding day. My mom. my brother and my SIL all get to my apartment and my mom is all smiles, she is excited to see me and excited to see the dress. I was trying not to burst out in to tears and I tried to stay angry about it all. She finally says " let's see the dress!" The word made me cry, all I can say is " I am so unhappy with it, it's not even funny." I show them the dress and it is still beautiful, on the hanger. My brother leaves the room so I can show them why I am unhappy. I am still thinking I am crazy and that they are going to tell me so. I can see it on their faces, the look, the happy look of when I ordered the dress was gone and they saw what I had been talking about.



Julie, my savior took control of the situation immediately. She asked "ok, what do you like about it and what don't you like about it?" the only thing I can say I like about it is, the bead work. That was it. Nothing about how it fits, the shape anything.I felt like I was playing dress up and not in a good way. I keep saying that I look ridiculous.I finally say" I just need to get it off because it is making me more and more upset and maybe after I get it to Barbra she can make it work." Julie says to me" Katy, this is not how you are supposed to feel, you are supposed to feel beautiful, confident and that isn't going to happen with this dress." I shake my head in agreement because until that point I still hadn't said that I was wrong and this wasn't my dress. It was a hard dose to swallow. I couldn't see past the dress, I saw the model in it and she looked amazing so why couldn't I? I was trying to fit a figure I wanted and not the one I had. So Julie, still in charge says "get dressed, put some make up on and do your hair. We need to get you in something you love." We tried calling some bridal places but came to the conclusion that Davids Bridal would have my sizes, and dresses I could take home today. So we get online see a few we like and write the style numbers down and everyone, including Nick were on a mission... again.



We walk in to Davids and I tell them I need a dress and the date of the wedding and got crazy looks and all I wanted to do was crawl under a rock. I wanted to tell everyone what had happened so I wasn't THAT Bride. I start to look and Karolyn came up to me with a smile on her face and said "September girl you are-" I start to cry and tell her what happened. She said right then and there that she was going to do everything she could to find me the dress. We start talking I tell her that I am really open to anything, which when she started showing me dresses I realized I wasn't. She was digging and I went to the designer section and I find a dress out of the GALINA SIGNATURE collection and I think what the heck, I haven't tried on this style before. Karolyn meets up with me and I have my 3 starter dresses. I try on the first one and everyone loves it, it is a corset back, ivory side ruched dress with floral applique and minimal beading. I liked it but I didn't love it. It was so hard to let myself like something because I didn't want to make the same mistake again. Dress number 2 was a dropped waist ball gown with an ornate bodice and a organza bottom. I loved the way it made my body look, but it was to much. If it would have been the bodice it may have been the one. But I was so scared to say "I love it." Or "this is the one." I kept trying on dresses and then a champagne colored a-line caught my eye. It had the beading I liked, straps that made me feel secure, but of course It didn't fit. Karolyn being the fairy god mother she is got someone from alterations and they said they could put in a modesty panel and have it be a lace up gown. No one liked the dress, but I really did like it border line loved but everyone was bashing the dress so then I broke down again because I was so scared. Everyone was making me second guess myself, Karolyn had some of her people on the case to see if they could get me the dress in time, or to see if another David's had it in my size.

No luck. Or should I say just my luck. Karolyn is taking her time and being very patient with my and got some of the definite No's out of the room and brought some more in. She put the Galina one on top but I still had some fuller dresses to try on, as I am getting number 9 on she says pointing at the Galina dress " You know what, that is probably your dress and we are going through this drama for nothing." Number 9 was a definite no. It was the epitome of I am a plus sized bride and this is all they had for me. My mom says " try that silky one on." Defeated I turn around and I head back in to the dressing room for the last time. I slip off the full crinoline and Karolyn says that this "dress is more couture and is like Butta." I slip it on and I actually feel comfortable, secure. I walk out and I see my mom's face and I want to dart around but Karolyn stops me and says I need to get some clips, don't look yet. So I wait to the smiles of family and when she said "OK" I swung around to see a bride standing on a pedestal, I looked amazing in it. I did all the right things for me, it elongated my torso, made my waist look as tiny as ever, the neck line was sexy yet still covered me up. I danced to see if I could boogie and sure enough this was the dress. I felt a sigh of relief and a huge weight had been lifted. Karolyn asked me if this was the dress and I said I think it is. She gave me the little bell and it rang YES, THIS IS MY DRESS!!!!!!! I wanted to wear it home, I wanted to get married in it right now. Julie said "that's how you are supposed to feel." My brother said " It didn't actually hit me that I am watching my little sister try on wedding dresses until this dress." My mom was a sobbing mess.

I was elated and I couldn't wait to come home and put it on again. I called my girls and everyone came to see it that could. Jen is coming over tonight. The funny thing was none of the girls believed me about dress number one. I had to put it on every time, a new bridesmaid came over and all agreed that dress number 2 was the better choice. My MOH was afraid to tell me she liked the dress 2 better than dress 1.


Pics to come.....

IT'S HERE!

I pick it up tomorrow after rehearsal

Cutting your own hair...

Is not the best idea 3 months before your wedding.

I was going to get my hair cut but I decided until then I would just cut my bangs. So I go in to my bathroom and I have my music going, I am singing along and not paying any attention WITH SCISSORS IN MY HAND!!!! I begin to cut. After cut one I knew that I really should have payed more attention, you know take all of the other factors out of the equation and just leave me and the scissors. But I knew I had to keep going.

They are short. Too short for my liking but at least in 3 months my bangs will be a normal length.

Erin said I look retro, and she is in to fashion and beauty so when someone asks me I will say "I was going for a retro look." DUH!

Matt likes it, and it is growing on me. I will make the most of it, and wait paitently for them to grow.