That is exactly how I feel right now. So think back to your childhood and remember the pangs of sadness felt when you realized your life was a lie.
I am in such a funk. A big ole funk-idy funk.
I am so overwhelmed right now and I don't know how to underwhelm. School is a lot harder than I thought it would be, and I am having a lot of trouble keeping up.
When I was in school all day everyday yes it was easier, but I still had to work for every grade I got, when you have a "learning issues"( I have ADD and yes it is causes problems) that will happen. But, I overcame and actually made decent grades, that was then this is now. I was never allowed to have a job when I was in school and now I see why, being stretched to thin sucks. I mean back then it was school and school related stuff, now I am up against, work, marriage, the responsibilities of being an adult and to tell you the truth it is too much.
This is something I want sooooo badly but I am so far away from it and I didn't want to do a mediocre job of it either. Which is what I am doing... a half assed rendition of a college experience.
If I were to stay in school I would graduate (if all goes well) in January and then start at my Bachelors degree and be in school for another 1 1/2 to 2 years. But I keep asking the question is it really worth it? I think another reason this question is haunting me is because I have no idea what I want to do. If I had some direction maybe it would be better but I got nadda.
For years I never thought of anything different, I saw myself walking down the aisle to pomp and circumstance and collecting my hard earned degree but it seems to be getting fuzzier.
There is just a lot of stress, a lot of pressure and a lot of confusing things going on right now and I can't seem to get the upper hand.