That is exactly how I feel right now. So think back to your childhood and remember the pangs of sadness felt when you realized your life was a lie.
I am in such a funk. A big ole funk-idy funk.
I am so overwhelmed right now and I don't know how to underwhelm. School is a lot harder than I thought it would be, and I am having a lot of trouble keeping up.
When I was in school all day everyday yes it was easier, but I still had to work for every grade I got, when you have a "learning issues"( I have ADD and yes it is causes problems) that will happen. But, I overcame and actually made decent grades, that was then this is now. I was never allowed to have a job when I was in school and now I see why, being stretched to thin sucks. I mean back then it was school and school related stuff, now I am up against, work, marriage, the responsibilities of being an adult and to tell you the truth it is too much.
This is something I want sooooo badly but I am so far away from it and I didn't want to do a mediocre job of it either. Which is what I am doing... a half assed rendition of a college experience.
If I were to stay in school I would graduate (if all goes well) in January and then start at my Bachelors degree and be in school for another 1 1/2 to 2 years. But I keep asking the question is it really worth it? I think another reason this question is haunting me is because I have no idea what I want to do. If I had some direction maybe it would be better but I got nadda.
For years I never thought of anything different, I saw myself walking down the aisle to pomp and circumstance and collecting my hard earned degree but it seems to be getting fuzzier.
There is just a lot of stress, a lot of pressure and a lot of confusing things going on right now and I can't seem to get the upper hand.
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It will work out for you and Hubs. It may be a mess right now, but it will get better. If I can help let me know.
ReplyDeleteI remember watching my dad put together "Santa's Gift" and balling my eyes out all morning because I wasn't allowed to tell. I'm sorry you feel that way. Don't give up on your dreams. My mom was 40 before she got to pimp walk down the aisle - a dream delayed is still a dream achieved.
ReplyDeleteI have those feelings too with school. I just wish I can finish already but with everything else on my plate I wonder how much more I could take on.
ReplyDeleteIt is a little bit of a juggle. But once you get the hang of things it'll even out. You just have to get past the GEC's .... the rest, no matter the path you choose after those are done, will all be so much easier.
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