45 more days

6 years ago today I was in France on a class trip and little did I know that I was sitting on the same bus as my future husband.

That trip was the start of something amazing. It was one of self discovery, love and adventure. I still can't believe how blessed I was to get that opportunity.

I met a boy from Alabama that, at first sight knocked me off of my feet. We were shy and stole glances at each other under the cover of sunglasses, we didn't actually speak until the last 3 days.
We parted and I was for certain I would never see him again, but he surprised me. His name would pop up in my conversations to people, I became a hermit and lived in front of my computer waiting for him to log on.

Fast forward through meeting again after a year of 3 am phone conversations and AIM, tears, fights, growing together, growing apart, break up and make ups. And here we are 45 days until we get married.

I know we aren't the perfect couple but who is? We are slowly blending our lives together after 6 years apart, it will take time and slowly yet surely it is happening.

Now for a little something extra-

This whole getting married thing has me riding the emotional roller coaster, and it is no wonder why brides sometimes act the way they do (bridezilla behavior is still not ok)

Examples of my emotional instability at the moment.

Sadness: The other day when I was getting my oil changed, I signed my receipt and got a little teary eyed... the problem was I wasn't alone in the car so my mom saw it and blurted out "Katy, it's not that expensive." She thought I was crying about my car, I said "that's not what I am getting emotional over, I only can sign my name like that for 2 more months."

The same kind of thing happened with the tea gifts... everything is G and I am sitting there thinking H is a good letter too.

Excitement: I decided to leave my dress down at my Dad's house because 1) it is the most neutral smelling place (i.e. smoke, animals,heavy smell good product use) 2) I am not there to wear it allllllllllllllllllllll the time.
Well, being as I got my shoes back from being dyed and the time has come to take it to alterations I brought it home. You guys I was a mess, I did my hair, my make up and put all my wedding day accessories on. Just to get an idea.

Anger: This I know I blow out of proportion but it is scary none the less. In some of my older posts you can see a theme. The theme being living with a boy is like living with a child. Women as a species see the bigger picture while men have blinders on. So I see the house as a mess in its entirety while the Fiance says he can still fit one more can of soda on this already covered table, hence it is just cluttered, not dirty. I could go on and on about this but I will choose one story in particular...
The tale of the dirty socks
Fiance has a tendency to come home from a long days work and sit down and take a load off. Not a problem. As he eases down on to the comfy sofa cushion, he gives his barking dogs a break and removes his shoes and socks. Again, not a problem. Then, he will proceed to leave his dirty socks in the middle of the floor(this is were my eye starts to twitch)all night. They will stay there and he will repeat this action every night he works.
The day I hit my breaking point was when I decided to be a doll and clean the whole apartment, I vacuumed, I dusted, I picked up numerous pairs of stinky crusty socks, I even pledged the dining room table. I EVEN MADE HIM COOKIES!!!!
What do I walk out to in the living room the next morning? A pair of crusty socks laying in the middle of the floor.....
I started to feel like mommie dearest "NO WIRE HANGERS!!!!"
I was so mad that I questioned weather or not I wanted to marry a man that ate my cookies but made a mess of my home.
Looking back now, I realize how crazy it was to think that. But I snapped....

Fear: it is a haunting feeling. I ask myself all the time Can I do this? Can he do this? are we to young? I mean I know that I am difficult to live with with mood swings, how I want things done and so on and so forth I am surprised he is still around. Which is comforting, that my crazy antics haven't scared him away. But is scares me how angry or let down I feel when something I asked doesn't get done, or he doesn't listen to me.

Elation:
3 words make me beam brighter than the sun on a July day Mrs. Katy Gnann

I am not sure if I am going to want to go by Katy or Kate professionally. My whole family calls me Kate, Fiance calls me Katy. I, personally think Kate sounds better. Thoughts?

I know that when I get my name changed it will be Kathryn Hunter Gnann. I am dropping the middle name. It is sad especially when you are named for someone and that is the name you are dropping... see there I go being sad again.