hmpf.

I have actually tyed 3 different blogs but can't seem to get anything to come out.

I feel like I shouldn't be writing on here if it isn't witty or laughable but sometimes I just don't have it in me.

I am still tired, actually more so than just tired, I feel exhausted, flat, weary, worn-out... yeah those are better words.

I think I may be going crazy as well. I have actually cried 3 times this week, yeah 3 and it is just Wednesday. What is that? I mean I am not a crier, I actually hate it because I have a mad ugly crying face and get all red and splotchy and gross. It isn't a release for me at all, I feel worse after I cry. So why 3 times this week you ask
1. Hubs was being a Jerk about his iphone... oh, did I not tell you about that. Well, Hubs woke up one day and decided his 205 area code and phone weren't good enough anymore and he needed a NEW PHONE RIGHT EFFING NOW! So, what does he do? He gets the phone that I have been coveting since it came out and didn't get when it was my time to re-up because we were in the middle of planning our wedding and so I got the free phone. Anyway, oh and it raised my phone bill $60.00 because we are now a family and needed a plan to go with it? and you can't have an iphone with out the media plan to go with it. My whole issue with this situation is that he HAD to get it now, he couldn't wait until my contract was up so we can share in the iphone joy together, and then got mad at me for not being happy for him and his new phone.... really? Are you 5? Then a few days later of me stewing he FINALLY asked me what was wrong, and I told him. To which he said "Why didn't you tell me that" and I said kinda snarky, "why do I always have to do the thinking for you?"

Back to why I was crying. Ok so Monday was the championship game in which Duke was playing, Hubs is a fan of Duke. Whatever, I don't care for basketball, so I wasn't looking forward to watching it. So, hubs has scrabble on his iphone so he thought it would be cool for him to be on his iphone playing scrabble AND have control of the TV, I told him No it is either/or. So I stole his iphone from him and started playing scrabble and can I just brag for a moment and say that I got 34 points on a triple letter and triple word.. BOOM!!!! Anyway I win the game and cheer myself during my victory and hubs says to me "You know, I could have done that too if you wouldn't have taken my iphone." Now I know it doesn't sound mean, but he said it total snarky snark. And I don't know where it came from but I teared over. It was mean. The reason I stayed down stairs and didn't go up stairs and watch another tv was because I didn't want him to whine, use that little boy whiny voice and ask me why I leaving him. Like I was leaving him at a rest stop or something.

2. Ok, I am just going to get it out there I hate math, I am really really bad at math. I am so bad at math that my first chapter in my book is called whole numbers. I am so bad in Math, they are teaching, right now, monkeys to do the math in my math book to prove they are smart.... yeah

Anyway it was my fault, I totally forgot there was a quiz yesterday. Now it really isn't any big deal because this teacher will let you do make up work to get full points on a quiz so really even if you bomb it you are cool. So, I sit down to take my quiz and when he grades it right in front of me. I didn't do great, but the reason I got upset was because he marked a question wrong because he couldn't read my hand writing.... yes you read correctly... he told me what it should say, and I told him what my paper said and yes his wording was different than mine but to make sure the reader wasn't confused I put examples and such.... he said "well, you may have been saying that but I don't know what this is?" and I asked him what he meant. I asked point blank if he was marking it wrong because the information was wrong or because he couldn't read my writing? He gave me a bull shit answer and I could have fought it but I could already feel the tears swelling. It still makes me mad. I mean we had to tell him 3 0r 4 times yesterday to please slowdown to which he ranted off an excuse that really made no sense, it had something to do with us not being in his brain and it was hard for him to comprehend that....

I am going to have someone look over my quiz because when we were reviewing 3 of his answers were wrong on his answer key... yeah he is a real winner this one.

I sulked to my car, feeling defeated and down right dumb. I mean if monkeys can do it why can't I?

3. I may have started this blog but not posted it, hubs and I made 7 meals on Sunday and froze them, I wanted to take as much stress off as I could and cooking and cleaning up every night seemed like a good idea. So we both cleaned up afterwards but I stayed up and wiped everything down, loaded up and ran the dishwasher one more time and put all the food away. Well, in doing all of that I thought that hubs would unload the dishwasher, I don't know why but that is probably one of my least favorite jobs. I will load a dishwasher but I hate unloading it... call me crazy. So the dishes sat there until last night, until Hubs decreed "this is unacceptable." And started to clean. Now, as soon as I heard him say this I started to cry, because I have been saying that since we started living together and have even tried to remedy it. And now that HE HAS DECLARED IT HE FINALLY STARTS CLEANING WITH OUT ME ASKING HIM!?!?!?!?

He also said something about how he doesn't want to live like this anymore (meaning a messy house) and I just broke down. How am I supposed to Work, Go to school and rock at it so I can apply for scholarships next quarter, and keep a spic and span house? Something is going to have to give, He said he didn't mean it "Like that", that we are both messy not just me but it still hurt my feelings....

All of this has me down in the dumps, I mean I feel like Math and I are at war, and I am a sucky wife.

I know I am having a pitty party, and I can cry if I want to, crrrrrrrrrrrrrry if I want to!

Anyway I know it isn't true the whole being a sucky wife thing, I think I am just going to have to sit hubs down and tell him I am going to need more help, or tell him to calm the eff down and wait for me to do the cleaning on the weekends. I don't know but it will get better.

So that is my life, unexpected mood swings and tears.

maybe it menopause....

an actual post.

That's right I am actually going to post something. YAY ME!!!!

This week was the start of classes. I haven't been in classes like this since 2006, so I am kinda wiped out.

My essay and research teacher is a totally hippy but in a good way. He likes class discussion and his motto is fun can exist in the class room, so I think I may like this class.


My World Civilization teacher is kind of awesome. He has actually been to most of the places that we are discussing, and has an amazing knowledge of art.


We are learning about art right now and I kind of have a huge crush on it.


Math is my hell, even if the teacher is cool.


So all and all it was a good first week of school.



Remember that HUGE project that I was undertaking. Well it is 95% finished. I have a dresser to go through and then bag everything but one of besties came over last night to help me weed through all the crap. I had pulled out my summer clothes, which were being stored under my bed and I think when she walked in was in shock of the sheer amount of clothing I have. But she saw real quickly that I keep eve.ry.thing. I had clothes from 2006.... my body type was a lot different in 2006. Anywhoozer, we had a lot of fun, she helped me out a lot. And by that I mean, I wanted to keep a shirt, that is waaaaaay too small, and I said "But it is my favorite Oasis album, and it has my favorite song lyric from bye bye Birdie one it....." She wasn't having it, even after I sang the song to her.... Yes J-Bird, that shirt went to the pile.


In one of our many discussions last night I told her about a new mantra/outlook on life I am trying,I saw it on Fat Girl in Wedding dress and it made sense. I put myself down a lot, I say mean things to myself, make fun of my body, it is a pretty bad scene. I know I am not what society sees as beautiful, ok maybe that isn't the right way to say it, but that is how the media can sometimes shove it down our throats. So every day I tell myself something that I love about me, right now. Not when I was a size 10, but the size I am in today, and to tell you the truth, it does give me an extra pep in my step.


Things that I have loved about myself this week:

1. Will always be my Boobs, they are amazing.
2.My legs (from the knee down), you put me in a pencil skirt, and heels and I look KILLER!!!!
3. My hair. For some reason this week it has been working with me and not against me
4. My white spots. Yes they are multiplying and that scares me, but they are apart of what makes me, me.
5. My neck and chest area, no I am not saying my boobs again, it is the area above the ladies. I don't know why but I think it is a sexy area on any woman, myself included.

Some make take my list as conceded but I see it as growth.

Well ladies, have a great Easter weekend!!!

so much to do so little time

there is a lot going on right now. School started and I can say after getting through all my classes, as of right now I like my teachers and the material. I guess I am on speaking terms with my dad again, he called me last night and he invited me and Hubs to Easter dinner.

That is all I have right now. Once I get in to the swing of my new busy schedule I will update more.

Today is going to be beautiful, I actually can't wait to walk outside on campus.

Have a great Wednesday everyone!!!

I should be charged with Blogging neglect.

My Bloggies, I am so sorry.


I have been neglecting you.


I mean I always blog, even when there isn' t really much to say.


So I am just going to start somewhere and hope this post finds its way.


My lack of blogging can also coincide with my lack of energy. I have never been this devoid of energy in my life. It is getting kind of serious, I can't even really put a sentence together because by the time I get to the end of said sentence I am can barely keep my eyes open.


I don't know why sleep broke up with me, but whatever I did I am sorry and I hope you come back soon, I miss you.


I start school on Monday and I am hella excited. You know what I am most excited about? School supplies. Binders, notebooks, highlighters, you name it and I geek out over them. Tomorrow will be the day I fill up my book bag with school goodies and I a wait the noon o'clock hour so I can be on my way to higher education.


Tonight I am introducing my Mom to good Sushi. She has only had sushi once and it was from the grocery store. I will be taking her to Haiku so I can mature her pallet.

I have started a huge project, one that will be a huge undertaking and one that is long over due. What project you might ask? The project of cleaning out my closet. I don't think I have ever cleaned out my closet. Ok I did once but that was back in August, and it really wasn't cleaning it out I just got rid of the clothes that were either old, stained, holey, riped, torn you get the point. But I have never done the whole if you haven't worn it in a year then you should probably get rid of it. So I decided now is probably the best time. Our watching of my brothers cat is going to be ending soon and when that happens, our second walk in closet is going to be used for storage and Hubs and I are going to share a closet.

I am scared.

He is scared.

I have mass amounts of clothing people, to the point that is is ridiculous. I will be documenting my journey from the black abyss to clean and organized.

An up side to this is my wardrobe will get a major face lift after everything is said and done. Hubs told me I was allowed to shop. I say it like that because we are on a strict budget, one that hubs keeps us on very tyrannically sometimes, but I have been saving my pennies waiting for this day.

I will definitely give you before and after pics because this is going to be interesting. Remember when I said that I watched the brave little toaster when I was kid and it messed me up? It did for most inanimate objects, clothing included. I look at a shirt that really doesn't have real sentimental value for a non crazy person but for me I am all like "but I was wearing that shirt on the day I heard my new summer anthem for the summer of 2007, that was a good day."

And that is all I need to convince me to keep said summer anthem shirt.

So I need to grit my teeth and be mean to my clothes and put them in a plastic bag and take them to Volunteer's of America.

Something else I realized. I love stripes. Just about as mush as I love polka dots.

Not slimming vertical stripes, you know the only ones chubs are supposed to wear. Nu-huh I love big, little, solid, multi-color, horizontal stripes.

I know fashion fail.

Wedding Recap: the Ceremony

My wedding ceremony, like everyone said, was a blur. I was actually getting a little stage fright when the time came. I mean 9 months of planning came down to this very second. Kind of nerve racking. I had been tucked away so I hadn't seen the people come filing in. My dad had come back to the room to get lined up and it hit me when Lisa, the wedding coordinator made us line up that this was it. I still get butterflies thinking about it. I kept repeating to myself DON'T FALL, DON'T FALL, DON'T FALL. I am very clumsy, as my mom would say, there was a reason they didn't name me grace. Anyway. The day was perfect, we got married at 6 o'clock, so the sun was low in the sky, but we couldn't tell because there was a tad bit of cloud cover. The ceremony was held outside in the garden. It was beautiful on its own, it really didn't have to be decorated to much and I really liked that. I really wanted something beautiful but simple and I was so glad that I found this place. I do say I and not we because I had our name in the book before we even got engaged. Yes, I was that girl.

I remember I couldn't look at Mr. G, it was either going to make me cry or have this big silly grin on my face, so I decided I should concentrate on not killing myself. I remember getting up to him and my mom and dad giving me away. My dad almost took my veil off. I remember warning him about it and then shot my MOH a look. Then it is totally all a blur. I remember getting choked up during my vows, and then at the end, forgetting the Lord's prayer and trying to cover my tracks and act like I was crying. Then that was it, we were man and wife, in what seemed like the blink of an eye.

Here are some of our Ceremony pictures. There are a lot, this turned out to more of a play by play but oh well.

ENJOY!!!
















Come back next week for more wedding recap.

Weekend Review

This weekend was filled with a lot of unexpected, a lot of spontaneity which is very unlike me.



I am very mush a homebody, which is my nice way of calling myself a hermit. I really don't like to leave my house on the weekend because most places deem too big sweatpants, bra less me, white trash, and no one needs that.



I always say "Oh I am going to clean." which sometimes happens, not with the vigor I say I am going to, but I got in to a pretty nice groove on Saturday but I got distracted. It always happens.



As I was laying on my comfy sofa, waiting to not be distracted by re-runs of America's Next Top Model ( don't hate). My bestie Crystal called inviting me to dinner. And Not just any dinner... Sushi Dinner. When she mentioned sushi I did the whole drool moany thing Homer Simpson does. I agreed and got all gussied up slammed so good sushi. It. was. awesome!!!!


Well her hubs Brad didn't feel up to calling it a night so I called my Hubs and told him to get ready we were going out! That's right. This Hermit went to a bar, an average pub, with a shitty band, and a guy selling gyros right out front.



Well, Mrs.E and I go to the restroom and while on our way back, the hoards of people have all decided WE NEED MORE BEER, at the same efing time. So we start the awkward sideways walk through the crowd. We are almost through the ocean of drunkards, when we come to douche bag who won't move.

Crystal, politely puts her hand on the gentleman's shoulder to get him to move. Now, any other human being would have said to themselves "Hey, I feel a new added pressure to my shoulder I wonder what it could be?"

Not this guy, he just stood there... which made it awkward. Because Crystal was standing there with her hand on a strangers shoulder. Luckily some kinds ladies saw our perdiciment and moved. Crystal made her way through and as I was doing so, another jerk face gentleman plows through the crowd narrowing my exit. Now, I am not narrow by any means, so this causes a problem for Mrs. G. I can see what is about to happen. I can see my boobs heading for jerk face who didn't move, why didn't he move? This wouldn't be happening if he just would have moved. I see in his hand a very very full glass of beer, why was it that full still? I couldn't think about it, I had to react. So I went concave. As Concave as I could go.

It sorta worked. I didn't bash in to him spraying beer across the pub and down my new shirt. I nudged him, no beer spilt. I got through, and once I realized how awesome my reflexes were I congratulated myself. As I was walking more like strutting away. The Jerk face called after me...

" EXCUSE YOUR BOOBS!!!!!"

Really?

I mean did he know how much I went through, right then, to save his life?

I don't think so.

The healthy life... It's coming back

The Healthy Life is making a come back.

Stay tunned...