hmpf.

I have actually tyed 3 different blogs but can't seem to get anything to come out.

I feel like I shouldn't be writing on here if it isn't witty or laughable but sometimes I just don't have it in me.

I am still tired, actually more so than just tired, I feel exhausted, flat, weary, worn-out... yeah those are better words.

I think I may be going crazy as well. I have actually cried 3 times this week, yeah 3 and it is just Wednesday. What is that? I mean I am not a crier, I actually hate it because I have a mad ugly crying face and get all red and splotchy and gross. It isn't a release for me at all, I feel worse after I cry. So why 3 times this week you ask
1. Hubs was being a Jerk about his iphone... oh, did I not tell you about that. Well, Hubs woke up one day and decided his 205 area code and phone weren't good enough anymore and he needed a NEW PHONE RIGHT EFFING NOW! So, what does he do? He gets the phone that I have been coveting since it came out and didn't get when it was my time to re-up because we were in the middle of planning our wedding and so I got the free phone. Anyway, oh and it raised my phone bill $60.00 because we are now a family and needed a plan to go with it? and you can't have an iphone with out the media plan to go with it. My whole issue with this situation is that he HAD to get it now, he couldn't wait until my contract was up so we can share in the iphone joy together, and then got mad at me for not being happy for him and his new phone.... really? Are you 5? Then a few days later of me stewing he FINALLY asked me what was wrong, and I told him. To which he said "Why didn't you tell me that" and I said kinda snarky, "why do I always have to do the thinking for you?"

Back to why I was crying. Ok so Monday was the championship game in which Duke was playing, Hubs is a fan of Duke. Whatever, I don't care for basketball, so I wasn't looking forward to watching it. So, hubs has scrabble on his iphone so he thought it would be cool for him to be on his iphone playing scrabble AND have control of the TV, I told him No it is either/or. So I stole his iphone from him and started playing scrabble and can I just brag for a moment and say that I got 34 points on a triple letter and triple word.. BOOM!!!! Anyway I win the game and cheer myself during my victory and hubs says to me "You know, I could have done that too if you wouldn't have taken my iphone." Now I know it doesn't sound mean, but he said it total snarky snark. And I don't know where it came from but I teared over. It was mean. The reason I stayed down stairs and didn't go up stairs and watch another tv was because I didn't want him to whine, use that little boy whiny voice and ask me why I leaving him. Like I was leaving him at a rest stop or something.

2. Ok, I am just going to get it out there I hate math, I am really really bad at math. I am so bad at math that my first chapter in my book is called whole numbers. I am so bad in Math, they are teaching, right now, monkeys to do the math in my math book to prove they are smart.... yeah

Anyway it was my fault, I totally forgot there was a quiz yesterday. Now it really isn't any big deal because this teacher will let you do make up work to get full points on a quiz so really even if you bomb it you are cool. So, I sit down to take my quiz and when he grades it right in front of me. I didn't do great, but the reason I got upset was because he marked a question wrong because he couldn't read my hand writing.... yes you read correctly... he told me what it should say, and I told him what my paper said and yes his wording was different than mine but to make sure the reader wasn't confused I put examples and such.... he said "well, you may have been saying that but I don't know what this is?" and I asked him what he meant. I asked point blank if he was marking it wrong because the information was wrong or because he couldn't read my writing? He gave me a bull shit answer and I could have fought it but I could already feel the tears swelling. It still makes me mad. I mean we had to tell him 3 0r 4 times yesterday to please slowdown to which he ranted off an excuse that really made no sense, it had something to do with us not being in his brain and it was hard for him to comprehend that....

I am going to have someone look over my quiz because when we were reviewing 3 of his answers were wrong on his answer key... yeah he is a real winner this one.

I sulked to my car, feeling defeated and down right dumb. I mean if monkeys can do it why can't I?

3. I may have started this blog but not posted it, hubs and I made 7 meals on Sunday and froze them, I wanted to take as much stress off as I could and cooking and cleaning up every night seemed like a good idea. So we both cleaned up afterwards but I stayed up and wiped everything down, loaded up and ran the dishwasher one more time and put all the food away. Well, in doing all of that I thought that hubs would unload the dishwasher, I don't know why but that is probably one of my least favorite jobs. I will load a dishwasher but I hate unloading it... call me crazy. So the dishes sat there until last night, until Hubs decreed "this is unacceptable." And started to clean. Now, as soon as I heard him say this I started to cry, because I have been saying that since we started living together and have even tried to remedy it. And now that HE HAS DECLARED IT HE FINALLY STARTS CLEANING WITH OUT ME ASKING HIM!?!?!?!?

He also said something about how he doesn't want to live like this anymore (meaning a messy house) and I just broke down. How am I supposed to Work, Go to school and rock at it so I can apply for scholarships next quarter, and keep a spic and span house? Something is going to have to give, He said he didn't mean it "Like that", that we are both messy not just me but it still hurt my feelings....

All of this has me down in the dumps, I mean I feel like Math and I are at war, and I am a sucky wife.

I know I am having a pitty party, and I can cry if I want to, crrrrrrrrrrrrrry if I want to!

Anyway I know it isn't true the whole being a sucky wife thing, I think I am just going to have to sit hubs down and tell him I am going to need more help, or tell him to calm the eff down and wait for me to do the cleaning on the weekends. I don't know but it will get better.

So that is my life, unexpected mood swings and tears.

maybe it menopause....