Weekend Review

This weekend was filled with a lot of unexpected, a lot of spontaneity which is very unlike me.



I am very mush a homebody, which is my nice way of calling myself a hermit. I really don't like to leave my house on the weekend because most places deem too big sweatpants, bra less me, white trash, and no one needs that.



I always say "Oh I am going to clean." which sometimes happens, not with the vigor I say I am going to, but I got in to a pretty nice groove on Saturday but I got distracted. It always happens.



As I was laying on my comfy sofa, waiting to not be distracted by re-runs of America's Next Top Model ( don't hate). My bestie Crystal called inviting me to dinner. And Not just any dinner... Sushi Dinner. When she mentioned sushi I did the whole drool moany thing Homer Simpson does. I agreed and got all gussied up slammed so good sushi. It. was. awesome!!!!


Well her hubs Brad didn't feel up to calling it a night so I called my Hubs and told him to get ready we were going out! That's right. This Hermit went to a bar, an average pub, with a shitty band, and a guy selling gyros right out front.



Well, Mrs.E and I go to the restroom and while on our way back, the hoards of people have all decided WE NEED MORE BEER, at the same efing time. So we start the awkward sideways walk through the crowd. We are almost through the ocean of drunkards, when we come to douche bag who won't move.

Crystal, politely puts her hand on the gentleman's shoulder to get him to move. Now, any other human being would have said to themselves "Hey, I feel a new added pressure to my shoulder I wonder what it could be?"

Not this guy, he just stood there... which made it awkward. Because Crystal was standing there with her hand on a strangers shoulder. Luckily some kinds ladies saw our perdiciment and moved. Crystal made her way through and as I was doing so, another jerk face gentleman plows through the crowd narrowing my exit. Now, I am not narrow by any means, so this causes a problem for Mrs. G. I can see what is about to happen. I can see my boobs heading for jerk face who didn't move, why didn't he move? This wouldn't be happening if he just would have moved. I see in his hand a very very full glass of beer, why was it that full still? I couldn't think about it, I had to react. So I went concave. As Concave as I could go.

It sorta worked. I didn't bash in to him spraying beer across the pub and down my new shirt. I nudged him, no beer spilt. I got through, and once I realized how awesome my reflexes were I congratulated myself. As I was walking more like strutting away. The Jerk face called after me...

" EXCUSE YOUR BOOBS!!!!!"

Really?

I mean did he know how much I went through, right then, to save his life?

I don't think so.