It's another.... Tasty Tuesday!!!!

Baby it's cold outside!

There was no easing in to fall here in the buckeye state. So now it is time to hunker down in a big cozy sweater (which I have a ton of!), hot cup of coco, and big wool socks and embrace this change in the season.

Fall is by far on of my favorite seasons, not just only for the beautiful colors but also because it is time to whip up hearty soups and meaty chili's. I am not sure about you guys but on a 90 degree summer day my stomach never growls for chili. So, as I have switched my wardrobes this weekend from summer to fall,I also put the grill and accessories away and broke out the big cooking crocks and stock pots.

Today it is a beautiful day with a definite hint of fall crispness in the air so what better to way warm you up than a nice big bowl of New England Clam Chowder (or as I like to say Chowda)

I had tried the Campbell's version of NCC but thought it gritty and bland. It wasn't until I was in Culinary school, in my Soups, stocks and sauces that I stumbled upon my now favorite soup. This recipe does take time but it is sooooooo worth it. It makes a hearty, flavorful soup that just sticks to your bones and warms you inside and out.

What you need:
½ TB Clarified Butter
1.25 Oz salt Pork
2 oz Med diced Onion
6 oz Clam juice
4 oz Chopped Clam
6 oz Milk
2 oz Heavy Cream
All purpose flour
White Roux
Salt and white peper to taste

What to do:

In pan render salt pork over med heat
Add onion and cook slowly, until soft. Do not brown
Add flour to make a roux, do not let brown
Using a whisk stir the clam juice in to the roux. Stir until liquid comes to a boil remember to stir constantly
Add the potatoes and simmer until tender
Stir in clams and add hot milk and cream, heat gently, but do not boil
Season to taste with salt and white pep

There you go Ladies... Stay warm!!!!

Fight, fight, fight, fight!!!! a weekend recap

This weekend was supposed to be filled with honeymoon anticipation and cleaning. All of which happened, just with a few set backs....

first. On Tuesday of last week I told husband that on Saturday we were getting up at 9 am so that we could get an early start to our day of cleaning. He did protest and gave me the line "but its my weekend." I refreshed his memory to the fact that he had Wednesday and Thursday off too so I didn't feel bad for him. Remember the long blog I wrote about some of the issues I was having with hubs? Well that whole blog was about to make an appearance....

Flash forward to Saturday and we both get up and go to the living room to make a game plan for the day. He sits down and the first thing he says to me is " I will only clean on one condition, that I can listen to ESPN college game day as I clean." Now, I know I blew this way out of proportion but, I know my husband, I know that college football is the cheese to his macaroni. That is why I wanted to get an early start, get everything done before the games start, or at least have a big enough dent that we were ready for a break anyway. Another thing I know about m y husband... he doesn't listen, he watches. He won't even mute the game so we can talk, he says it isn't the same. I felt defeated and kind of pissed off. Why didn't he tell me he wanted to watch this show? I mean I love sleep too, could still be doing it right now if he would have told me. I can feel the heat of anger start to rise from my tippy toes and I just get up and go get dressed. I come back in to the room stone faced, to him laying back on the sofa watching his beloved game day.

I go to the gercoery store, in a fowl mood, come home, to hubs sitting in the exact position and so is the mess, and start cleaning. I really wasn't paying any attention at first because I was busy putting stuff away, but I soon realize that I am alone in my cleaning venture. Hubs is sitting on the couch..... still. I start to think to myself, why am I going to clean if he is just going to sit there? This is his house too.
I walk away..... I walk in to the bedroom and just lay down. I am the type of person that was cursed with a very short temper, but I have system in which to control my temper, I walk away so I can collect my thoughts and cool off. Now, I never like to back down but I have a mouth on me too, a mouth and temper are a lethal combination. I didn't want to say anything to hubs that I knew I would regret and feel guilty for. Also, I hate being mean, it paints such an ugly picture.

So the fight begins and last for about an hour. We yell, curse, cry and yell some more. I didn't want to resolve our problems through a fight but, for this instance it did. It was strangely productive.

We both go to air a lot of our grievances, we talked about his "I will get it later" attitude, my expectations of him, his lack of respect for our home, his expectations of me, and so on and so on. Which opened our eyes to a lot of things that we really came to realize was the elephant in the room. We were working against each other, he was still acting like he was a bachelor in his bachelor pad, while I was a conflicted new wife. I didn't want to nag, and it took everything I had to not scream when I felt like I was living with a 12 year old.

What still really hurts to know is when I said " I know this is an apartment, but this is our home, we made this place, this atmosphere together and I don't think you respect that." He agreed whole heartedly. His reaction was "This is just an apartment." I told him he needs to get over himself real quick because this is the type of housing we are going to have for at least the next 5 years. And I will be dammed if I feel like this for the first 5 years of our marriage. I mean I laid it out for him, every ounce of feeling I had, was out there. Which is strange for me.

This is new to us, fighting. We were long distance for 5 and a half years. When you are fighting on the phone all you have to do is hang up and turn off. Now we are face to face, there is on where to run, you have to stay and fight. Which I hope we don't do that often. I mean I am a realist and I know it will happen some, but lets be optimistic as well.

after the shouting stopped and we actually talked about what was going on, and our expectations we were saying our I'm sorrys to each other with in 15 minutes. Like I said this was a reality check for both of us. This is new for the both of us and even though we have been together for 6 years, we haven't been together.


Anyway, after the blow out we started working as a team and had the common areas pretty much cleaned. Then we took a break and I went to a Gold Canyon/Mary Kay Party which I mean come on, what girl doesn't like amazing smelling candles and make up.

We also got all packed up for the CRUISE!!!!!!! I am so excited, I can't even tell you. We leave on Saturday, for a week long cruise in the west Caribbean, SO PUMPED.

How was your weekend ladies?

I've come to realize...

1. I've come to realize that my hair:
will always be stick straight, no matter how hard I try to make it wavy or curly.

2. I've come to realize that when I talk:
That I sound like a sarcastic northerner.... wait...

3. I've come to realize that if I make a mistake:
i will admit it, no matter how much I don't want to.

4. I've come to realize that all I really need is:
love and support... and diet coke

5. I've come to realize that I've lost:
friends. My high school reunion is coming up and seeing everyone who has RSVPed it is funny how people that you thought you would be friends with after high school drop you like a bad habit and act like you were never friends.

6. I've come to realize that I hate:
money. It isn't a new realization, it is just one that I realize every day.

7. I've come to realize that if I were to get drunk:
I would probably cry. I tend to keep things bottled up and really have to let my guard down to deal with them.

8. I've come to realize that money:
you don't need it to be happy, but it sure can help.

9. I've come to realize that when I get old:
I may have some regrets, and think what if?

10. I've come to realize that I'll always be:
a worry wart, sometimes pessimistic, but I try really hard to be optimistic most of the time. Long story short. I will be me. Deal with it.

11. I've come to realize that I have a crush on:
My husband of course but also on most musicians. A man that can play an instrument or sing makes me weak in the knees... i.e. Dave Matthews, Michael Buble, Rob Pattinson.

12. I've come to realize that the last time I cried:
it was during Husband and I's first married couple fight.

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone:
used to be something that I just had to have, now it is my security blanket.

14. I've come to realize that when I wake up in the morning:
I should have gone to bed earlier.

15. I've come to realize that before I go to sleep at night:
I over analyze everything in my head and can't turn my brain off.

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking about:
My honeymoon, which starts next Saturday!!!!

17. I've come to realize that my life:
is going to get pretty scary here in a few months

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook:
I get nosy.

19. I've come to realize that tonight I will:
probably still be doing laundry

20. I've come to realize that tomorrow I will:
be counting filters, and engines at work. gotta love inventory

21. I've come to realize that I really want:
reliable friends that I can truly count on

22. I've come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is:
I am not going to tag anyone, I am just avoiding laundry and cleaning.

23. I've come to realize that relationships:
are hard no matter what kind and how involved you are.

24. I've come to realize that love:
is amazing.

25. I've come to realize my best girl friends:
are my saving graces and I love them all.

26. I've come to realize my best guy friends:
give me different perspective.

28. I've come to realize food can:
make me happy and miserable at the same time.

29: I've come to realize that this summer:
was very stressful,but had a wonderful outcome.

30. I've come to realize heartbreak:
happens to everyone

31. I've come to realize that my ex:
don't really have one.

32. I've come to realize that my sister(s)?brother(s)
are just like one person they don't want to be like.... then again so am I.

33. I've come to realize that crying:
doesn't make me feel better, it just makes me feel weak.

34. I've come to realize that death:
is gonna happen, hopefully much much later rather than sooner.

35. I've come to realize that if I'm sick:
I am very stubborn.

36. I've come to realize when I'm bored:
I really have other things I should be doing, but I am just putting them off. Gotta love Procrastination!

37. I've come to realize that work:
doesn't always get to be something you love

38. I've come to realize that family:
you can grow and so can your family, even if some members of said family want grow with you.

39. I've come to realize when I go shopping:
I spend waaaaaaaaaay to much and have buyers remorse after wards.

40. I've come to realize:
that this survey is 40 questions.

thankful thursday!

Today is thankful Thursday or as I like to refer to it... Friday eve.

This particular day I am feeling light and bubbly, for reason to be thankful number one.
1.I feel better!!!!!! I didn't have a temp when I went to bed and I didn't have one this morning. Which is a great relief from this past week.
2.Candy corn....don't judge me. But, candy corn is amazing and is only really around when it's fall.
3.allrecipes.com it is amazing
4. My honeymoon is only 10 days away!!! I am so excited for sun and sand!
5. My dot dot. She is a pain but makes life so interesting.
6. the bible study I am doing. It is so great to learn about strong women, even in a biblical sense.

Tasty Tuesday!

Seeing as yesterday was the last day of summer I decided this was going to be an ode to those warm summer days spent outside grilling, sipping on a cold beer or for me a totally girlie concoctions with a frilly umbrella.

I discovered something this summer too, Guacamole! I have tried it and tried it before in my days and for some reason this time it clicked. I have no idea what I had done with out it in my life.

So here it is, my ode to summer:



What you need:
• Guacamole
• 2 avocados - halved, peeled, and pitted
• 1/2 lime, juiced
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1 fresh jalapeno peppers, seeded and minced
• 1/2 cup chopped cilantro
• 1/4 cup minced onion
• 1 1/2 teaspoons minced garlic
• 1/4 teaspoon salt to taste
•
• Burger
• 2 pounds lean ground beef
• 1/2 lime, juiced
• 1 tablespoon minced garlic
• 1/2 cup diced onion
• 1/2 cup diced tomatoes
• 6 slices Monterey Jack cheese
• 6 hamburger buns
What to do:
1. Preheat an outdoor grill for medium heat.
2. To make the guacamole, mash the avocado in a medium bowl with the juice of half a lime, chili powder, jalapeno, cilantro, 1/4 cup onion, and 1 1/2 teaspoons of minced garlic; season to taste with salt, and set aside.
3. In a large bowl, mix together beef, the juice of half a lime, 1 tablespoon garlic, 1/2 cup diced onion, and tomatoes. Form the meat into 6 patties.
4. Cook the burgers to desired doneness on the preheated grill. Add a slice of cheese to each burger during the last minute of cooking. Serve on toasted buns with a dollop of guacamole.

Need some help...

So now that the wedded bliss fairy dust is starting to settle reality is starting to take over. Frustrations arise, a little gloom too.

Everything that you read in bride books about a slight depression after your wedding is true on some level for every bride. Wither it be a complete nuclear meltdown or just being bored on the weekends. I can say that after 9 months of actual planning and preparing, every weekend being devoted to something wedding, watching wedding show after wedding show, scouring lord knows how many bride magazines, there is a void there. This is the time of your life you get to plan and live out your fairy tale. It is exciting to take a blank canvas and truly make it in to a cohesive vision of what you and your partner wants. So when it is all life consuming and then it a memory it is hard to let it go. When I flip to a wedding show now I say how I was feeling at that point, or what I was thinking. I guess I was waiting to feel something different, I don't know, almost like getting that badge in girl scouts. I will admit I wanted it to be over with, not just because of the stress and the drama, but because I wanted to be a newlywed. Get to that final level in this whole process. Did I think I was going to miss it this much? Not at all.

So after falling back in to the swing of things, I feel that I am left wanting. I am not sure what that is but there is something there. Maybe it is the fact that there was this huge climax and then nothing. Because husband and I pretty much lived together preceding the wedding there wasn’t the excitement of blending our lives. Now I am left with the same frustrations that were there before we said I do.

The week before the wedding was such a whirlwind. From finishing projects, cleaning, double checking every last detail. Everything was perfect, including our home. I had scrubbed, washed and polished everything in that apartment. Nothing was out of place and it looked AWESOME!!!! Flash forward 2 weeks and it doesn’t even look like the same apartment. I will say there was an adjustment period afterward and a huge sigh of relief when it was over, and both of us being sick thrown in to that 2 weeks, but still….

I came from a home, growing up that was never clean. It was always cluttered, dishes in the sink, stuff like that. Nothing health department serious, it never took much to get it in to working order, just a reason like company or a holiday. So, now that I have my own place and by that I mean without parents I knew how I was going to want it to look and how I wanted to keep it up. That is fine for me, but there was a foreign object to bring in to the equation…. A boy. Boys in general are messy people, dirty people… and I am speaking that they are this way to the opposite sex. I could be about to wet my pants and would still run past his bathroom, and run to my own. Now, I tired the whole cleaning and maintaining but that didn’t work. It actually resulted in a big fight, that then lead to a discussion. The fight was about “Why should I give up my weekend to clean”, to my response “Why should I give up my weekend to be your maid?” I made it clear through the shouting that I am not his maid nor am I his mother in the sense that I shouldn’t have to nag you everyday to pick up your socks off the living room floor. I realized I was going about this the wrong way. I knew very little about Husbands everyday home life, at his parent’s house and in college. What were his chores at home? What were his parent’s roles in the house? How did his apartment in college look like on a day to day basis (can you tell I have been in therapy before)? I was very upfront with him. I told him I am a messy person by nature, I am prone to clutter and I keep everything. But! And I told him it was a big but, if I get the place clean it will be CLEAN! Like eat off the floor clean and I will get aggravated if it doesn’t stay that way. Then the answers to his questions came…

1. His chores were to keep the basement clean – which I knew was the start of my uphill battle. In previous discussions I knew he pretty much just let the trash (i.e pop cans and such) pile up until his mom said clean it up and to empty the dishwasher.

2. His dad was in charge of the honey dos and the yard work while his mom tended the rest of the house.

3. His apartment, like my house needed a reason to be clean.

Oh boy! Here I thought for all these years he was the yin to my yang in the sense of he was neat and clean and I was messy and cluttered. He would be my muse to keep a neat and tidy house, not my biggest adversary. So already I knew I was going to have to tell him what to do and to nag him to do it. I also told him since we live in an apartment and don’t have a yard and maintenance can take care of all my honey dos he was going to have to help around the house.

So I had finally had it with crusty work socks on my floor, and pop cans scattered about. I made a list, a compromise if you will, of the duties around the house. I even discussed it with him to see if it was ok to go by and he said yes. Now, I did leave some gray areas because I live in the real world where we both work 40 hours a week and sometimes are going to be extremely tired, or need help. So I put that on there. Well he took what I wrote and then decided to throw it back at me every time something wasn’t done on time or right then. Something I have noticed about husband is when it comes to him personally there are no rules. For example: If he is home all day and has to take Dot out I will take her out when I get home because he has had her all day. Now in any other circumstance we trade on and off on who gets to take little lady out, but when I said it is your turn he said but I have been with her all day, so I take her out. But last night, when I had been home with her all day he pulled the “it is your turn” thing. It is like that for a lot of stuff. But when I was planning the wedding and there was a blow out about the laundry, I snapped. I snapped because I even wrote out on the list “can ask for help if they need it.” Needless to say I haven’t touched his laundry since said blow out. I will say here and now that I would be the main cleaner, if I didn’t have to fight a loosing battle. I can clean to my little hearts content but he has to meet me half way, by simply picking up after himself, but he doesn’t even do that 100%. I am his wife, I don’t want to feel like the maid (a repeating theme in this blog), and that is exactly what I feel like when I am picking up after him constantly and not getting a “wow the house looks great” or “ thank you.” That last one is a big ONE.

So here I am, a messy house waiting for me, a husband that says “I’ll get it later” and that means days later, and a dire need for some guidance and motivation. I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to nag him because 1. He is 25 (in a few weeks) and he is to old for that and 2. It is his house too. He needs to take as much pride in this apartment as he would our house, when the time comes. I need some fresh perspective…

How should Husband and I get on the same team? How did you lovely ladies deal with this issue? Or something similar.

TGIF

TGIF Bloggies!!!!!

Even though I did get a day off during the week, we are gettin in to our slow season at work so the days just crawl by.

This week was a big week for me, I officially changed my last name. I went from something pretty straight forward to something that is going to get mispronounced, and misspelled the rest of my life,needless to say it is going to be a big change. It was hard seeing my maiden name go, there is a lot of pride and history that comes with that name. I remember doing the family ancestry projects in middle school and became obsessed with finding out anything and everything that had to do with my ancestry. It lead me down some very awesome paths, and it is fun to see where you came from and how you got to where you are today. This identity change is strange because Hubs knows very little about his last name which was kind of a bummer. I guess it is a challenge for me to do some research!

Hubs and I also went as a treat, to Bed, Bath and Beyond to use our wedding gift cards. We made out like bandits!!! And the good part is we still have some money left over! We figure once we move we can spend the rest.

Today I made my payment to hold my place for JWU to start in November. Now, all I have to do is find out when orientation is and register for that. Yay for school!!!!

Last night was the start of Bible Study and I am so excited!!!! This study is going to be amazing and I am so happy it is one that was done by Beth Moore. I think she is hystercial and brings so much history and just plain Umph to the table. The study is on the book of Ester and is called "its tough being a woman." Amen sister!!!!

I have to be domesticated this weekend and seriously clean house! We are overrun with gifts... I know, such a sad state to be in : ) But, it is time hubs and I got back in to a routine, back to a norm and getting things back together will seriously help. Now, lets hope my health holds out so I don't have a repeat of last weekend.

Have a great weekend everyone!!!