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Welcome! My name is Mrs.G and I started this blog so people could share in my mis-adventures in wedding planning. I married my southern gentleman on September 6th, 2009. Throughout our courtship I became enamored with everything southern and desperately want to become a steel magnolia.
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Monday, September 28, 2009

Fight, fight, fight, fight!!!! a weekend recap

This weekend was supposed to be filled with honeymoon anticipation and cleaning. All of which happened, just with a few set backs....

first. On Tuesday of last week I told husband that on Saturday we were getting up at 9 am so that we could get an early start to our day of cleaning. He did protest and gave me the line "but its my weekend." I refreshed his memory to the fact that he had Wednesday and Thursday off too so I didn't feel bad for him. Remember the long blog I wrote about some of the issues I was having with hubs? Well that whole blog was about to make an appearance....

Flash forward to Saturday and we both get up and go to the living room to make a game plan for the day. He sits down and the first thing he says to me is " I will only clean on one condition, that I can listen to ESPN college game day as I clean." Now, I know I blew this way out of proportion but, I know my husband, I know that college football is the cheese to his macaroni. That is why I wanted to get an early start, get everything done before the games start, or at least have a big enough dent that we were ready for a break anyway. Another thing I know about m y husband... he doesn't listen, he watches. He won't even mute the game so we can talk, he says it isn't the same. I felt defeated and kind of pissed off. Why didn't he tell me he wanted to watch this show? I mean I love sleep too, could still be doing it right now if he would have told me. I can feel the heat of anger start to rise from my tippy toes and I just get up and go get dressed. I come back in to the room stone faced, to him laying back on the sofa watching his beloved game day.

I go to the gercoery store, in a fowl mood, come home, to hubs sitting in the exact position and so is the mess, and start cleaning. I really wasn't paying any attention at first because I was busy putting stuff away, but I soon realize that I am alone in my cleaning venture. Hubs is sitting on the couch..... still. I start to think to myself, why am I going to clean if he is just going to sit there? This is his house too.
I walk away..... I walk in to the bedroom and just lay down. I am the type of person that was cursed with a very short temper, but I have system in which to control my temper, I walk away so I can collect my thoughts and cool off. Now, I never like to back down but I have a mouth on me too, a mouth and temper are a lethal combination. I didn't want to say anything to hubs that I knew I would regret and feel guilty for. Also, I hate being mean, it paints such an ugly picture.

So the fight begins and last for about an hour. We yell, curse, cry and yell some more. I didn't want to resolve our problems through a fight but, for this instance it did. It was strangely productive.

We both go to air a lot of our grievances, we talked about his "I will get it later" attitude, my expectations of him, his lack of respect for our home, his expectations of me, and so on and so on. Which opened our eyes to a lot of things that we really came to realize was the elephant in the room. We were working against each other, he was still acting like he was a bachelor in his bachelor pad, while I was a conflicted new wife. I didn't want to nag, and it took everything I had to not scream when I felt like I was living with a 12 year old.

What still really hurts to know is when I said " I know this is an apartment, but this is our home, we made this place, this atmosphere together and I don't think you respect that." He agreed whole heartedly. His reaction was "This is just an apartment." I told him he needs to get over himself real quick because this is the type of housing we are going to have for at least the next 5 years. And I will be dammed if I feel like this for the first 5 years of our marriage. I mean I laid it out for him, every ounce of feeling I had, was out there. Which is strange for me.

This is new to us, fighting. We were long distance for 5 and a half years. When you are fighting on the phone all you have to do is hang up and turn off. Now we are face to face, there is on where to run, you have to stay and fight. Which I hope we don't do that often. I mean I am a realist and I know it will happen some, but lets be optimistic as well.

after the shouting stopped and we actually talked about what was going on, and our expectations we were saying our I'm sorrys to each other with in 15 minutes. Like I said this was a reality check for both of us. This is new for the both of us and even though we have been together for 6 years, we haven't been together.

Anyway, after the blow out we started working as a team and had the common areas pretty much cleaned. Then we took a break and I went to a Gold Canyon/Mary Kay Party which I mean come on, what girl doesn't like amazing smelling candles and make up.

We also got all packed up for the CRUISE!!!!!!! I am so excited, I can't even tell you. We leave on Saturday, for a week long cruise in the west Caribbean, SO PUMPED.

How was your weekend ladies?

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