Downsizing

What I am about to show you is unspeakable and I am truly ashamed of it.

  This closet is huge and most of the time a mess, you would think that having such a huge closet would be a blessing but honestly it is a curse. I know clothes are a necessity but let’s not lie here and say that for most women it is way more than that, it is a form of expression for us and makes us feel good about ourselves. That is where the problem for me lies, I keep buying clothes because  I want so badly to feel good about myself, to look in the mirror and think I look good instead of “well, that is as good as it is going to get.” But because of my self-deprecating ways I have accumulated a lot. And I kept most of it. I also like the variety of it all, I think another reason I kept everything is because if it fits, which as a plus sized girl on a very limited budget, it stays in my closet until it is threadbare.

With all of this comes mountains of clothes.  I used to enjoy reveling at the collection I had created and now it is embarrassing. I haven’t had to get rid of anything in 3 years (I still did donate in the spring and fall), so my closet has just accumulated more clothing. I am actually ashamed of the amount of clothes I have and how much money I have spent on clothes that I didn’t need. Now,  I avoid my closet at all costs because it is just too overwhelming,  I live out of a laundry basket and have a week’s worth of clothing that I keep wearing over and over again, while my closet door stays closed. 

I have done that before in my closet and it ended in me getting rid of almost everything I had and not even realizing it (circa 2004).  So far I have made a list of what I know I want to keep, that way I pull those pieces out of the fray early, I have also made a list of what  I know I want to get rid of.  Then it is going to be a matter of going through everything and deciding what stays and what goes. Included in this will be the 2 bags of clothes that reside in basement, the 3 drawer fulls and finally 3 boxes.

This is going to take forever.

If I don’t post in 2 days…. Send a search party.