Down time.

I always say that I don't want to turn anyone off from reading my blog, but this is/can be a very personal glimpse in to my life and I feel like I would be lying to you if I made you think it was all care bear farts and rain bows. So when I do get like this I hunker down and wait for the storm to pass. It has been a week and I don't see it passing so I decided to do what you do with a blog and write about it. Although, this time it isn't so easy.

I am down you guys, really down.

I feel like things keep compounding and when I try to get a handle on one thing, another pops up. And to make matters worse I don't feel like this is a safe place anymore to write 100% every thing that is happening with me. I know people read this that don't follow me, but to do it and hurt someone in the process, someone that means a lot to me is just petty. I was used and my best friend was hurt. How do I find the inspiration to write on here when I feel like everything is now under a microscope? Waiting for some slip up or tid bit of information? I guess I should use a very wise woman's mentality "if you read this and get hurt, then you get hurt."

Lately I have been feeling less of myself.

Less of the friend I want to be
Less of the wife I want to be
Less of the Godly woman I want to be

I will not be talking of guilt, guilt is something I do well and often. With this though I want to not take the easy way out and say "Yeah,I feel really guilty about that." and, instead use better words to describe what is going on with me.

I feel like a bad friend. No, I know I am being a bad friend . I feel like I have lost sight of the friends that just last year I was inseparable from, the friends that were solid as rock. I feel a twinge of selfishness as I feel like I have been all me, me, me ,I ,I ,I and not taking the time to listen to what they are saying, or they aren't saying.

I have been so caught up in my own life that I feel like I have retreated from theirs and done the lazy thing and face book them how much I miss their face instead of seeing the face I miss so much, or give them my 15 minute break at work instead of calling after hours or heck, seeing them outside the work place.

Another notion that is plaguing me is I feel a little left behind too. which I know is simply silly and as I write it down and see the words in front of me, realize how silly it is. But, many of my friends are hopping on board the baby train and although I am so elated for each and everyone of them, their family, so much so that I could burst when I see them and their bumps. I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous. Jealous that it hasn't happened for me yet and at the same time terrified that it never will. Terrified doesn't do this feeling justice. There is one thing I know that I was meant to do in this world and it was to have a family. Now, how I get that family is completely in God's hands but I would be devastated if I could not carry my own. If something I did in my past crushes my future. Husband and I have not labeled it as trying, but we sure as heck aren't preventing. We haven't been for6 months now(I feel horrible writing that because I know for some people it takes years) and the fact that I all I have had was one tiny blip on the radar plants the seed of doubt and fear deeper in to my soul.

Husband and I are having issues, or more I am having issues with Husband. It is nothing marriage threatening or anything but is my own issue. I am embarrassed to talk about it and won't on here (damn that microscope), but I can talk to any of my friends about this, but not my husband. Like I said I am embarrassed. I am embarrassed that I don't know how to show him I love him. I am not a cuddler, a hand holder, a mushy talker even a hugger.I know that those things does not a happy marriage make. But it does help with the in between time, and that is what I am lacking in. I only know how to show him love in one way and when we are in that in between time, I feel cold and alone. I feel like I living with a room mate and not my husband. I don't know how to love him.

Several times on this blog I have talked about wanting to really strengthen my relationship with God. I have done a piss poor job of that. I always start out on said endeavors with the best intentions but never follow through. I see these women so deeply rooted in their faith and my heart aches for that kind of a connection with God. Oh, you lovely sisters that offer for me to go to Church or bible study, I love your eagerness to help on my journey and I thank you for always keeping the invitation open. I am in my own way on this one and for some reason, I can't move this mountain. I need to be in control of my own life and that is the mountain, it is my inability to just let go and leave it up to him. I mean it is anyway, but I feel so clouded with what I want that what is supposed to be can't be seen through the fog.

I am waiting for the clouds to clear and to see the daylight again. I know it is coming and hopefully and clear head and heart will be on the other side.

Better

I am better than yesterday. I think the combination of no sleep, an achy body and just being stressed out got the better of me. Sometimes you just have to get it out to really look at the issue and try to work it out.

In all honesty I know Mr. G is going to make this Christmas special for me and I know how much my new family is going to love having us both there to celebrate. I also threw myself in to holiday decorating, I figured If I wanted to catch the holiday fever I was going to have to expose myself to it. I will take pics of my newly decked halls this weekend when we are truly settled in to our new home.

It is really funny to say that still "our new home", it will hit you in waves because everything is a first and is so new.

Things I have learned in the short time I have lived in my house:

1. I suck at parking in a garage day one I almost took the back end of my car off because I was paranoid I was going to pull in to far and bust through the wall in the dinning room. Last night I did pull in to far and tapped or old microwave that is in the garage right now. Funny part is we even have one of those STOP signs hanging from the wall.
2. Communication has been impaired for hubs and I. We are yellers, and I don't mean in a "we fight all the time" way I mean in a you are in the other room and I don't want to get up and tell you what I have to tell you so I will yell it to you. At our old place you were only a stairwell away now he could be in the basement, the office, the garage. There are just so many more places to be, that I see under the same roof texting in my future.
3. it is hard to dress for a new house. At our old house I knew it was cold, the only room that wasn't freezing was the office. I knew that if I was cold and the heat kicked on I needed to sit on the chaise part of our sofa or on the far right had side, those got the best heat. I knew that when I went to bed, I had to dress for the Arctic circle, sweat pants, hoodie, tee shirt, socks, but now that is all out the window. I can't get comfortable! I haven't found the perfect comfy clothing combo to not be freezing or dying of heat stroke.
4. Hard wood floors are hell for my knees and ankles. I am forcing myself to be a slipper wearer because it gives me some form of support. When we decorated the tree, by the end of it I could barely walk, hence the sore body yesterday.

I am still not sleeping well, at 10 or so I will get this sudden burst of energy and can't come down from it until like 1 or so. I would love to take a tyneol PM but I haven't unpacked it yet, DRAT!!!

a case of the bah-hum bugs

whiny post ahead.

This happened last year too but for a totally different reason.

In the effort to be as fair as possible Husband and I decided that we would alternate who's house we go to for the holidays. This is really the best solution and it is the fairest, at the time I was 100% behind our decision and gave us a little pat on the back for being so adult about it.

But now as the days are counting down to Christmas, I can say that I am not looking forward to it.

To clear the air am I looking forward to seeing the G family, I am looking forward to going out of town, and I am very looking forward to not being at work.

I am not sure how Mr. G did it, this time last year, me getting all excited and decorating and talking about "my family traditions" and blah blah blah, all the while he probably was feeling home sick. I know I already am and we are 18 days out.

This year is such a mix of emotion. We are so excited to be celebrating Christmas in our new home but as quickly as we moved in we are leaving for a week.

We bought a huge Christmas tree - one that the Griwolds would be proud of, but after it was in I just sat there and looked at it and said "what's the point?"I look around our new home and then look at my tub of Christmas cheer and grumble to myself. There is still so much to be done with the house do I really want to add putting up and taking down Christmas decorations? I can already tell you the answer to that.... no.

My family is broken and because of that we will be having 2 Christmas's none of which were elected to be in our home, I mean I am totally ok with not having to cook for a bunch of people but that would have be cause for me to decorate a little more.

Contradictory to what I said I am interested in to see the G's Christmas, see what traditions we will have in our house, go to worship with them, and just see my Husbands Christmas. I have never had a Christmas with his family before so it is like being let in to a little part of his life that I have never been in before.

Husband can see it on my face, or through the tears I shed at Chipotle last week how hard this is going to be for me (in my defense I am PMSing), with that being said I feel like he isn't going to make any concessions to make this any easier. For instance, last year I knew he was missing his fam, he didn't have to tell me I could ready it on his face, in his eyes. So I thought in a bid to bring a little bit of home to him for Christmas I surprised him and I made his mom's breakfast casserole, even though it wasn't even close to as good as hers he was very appreciative.

I was hoping this gesture would be reciprocated but when I asked if it would be rude of me to maybe ask for Cinnamon rolls instead (my mom always stopped by Panera for some pastry delights or Cinnamon rolls) he said it would be and that I HAD to have the casserole... to bad I don't like sausage or scrambled eggs. I tried to plead my case that it wasn't to be rude but it was to remind me of home he said he would try but couldn't guarantee anything. Then just last night I said that I would be taking some of my favorite Christmas movies with me to watch while we were down there one being The Muppet's Christmas Carol, his response was he hated the muppets and I finally said "I don't care if you watch it with me or not, I am watching it."

I know he isn't doing it to be mean, or rude he is just THAT excited to be going home for Christmas, I just wish he would use his past experience and be a little more sympathetic towards what I am going to go through this year.

ok I am not tired of my own whining...

because it's official...

Check it out:

http://thegstakeonsuburbia.blogspot.com/

Home Sweet Home

Ladies!

It's official!

Mr.G and I are home owners!!!!



More pictures to come. Moving day is this Saturday so I am taking a blog break to pack and back to 30 days and more pictures of our new home sweet home.

The giving of thanks

Gooooooooooooood Mornring Bloggies!

I hope you woke from your turkey coma well rested!

I took a break from the 30 days of me to spend time with family and friends.

Tomorrow I will be back to my reguarly scheduled 30 days but I had to interupt and say that today is the day we find out if we got the house.

So prayers, fingers crossed, do a dance, do whatever.

Day 8: a photo that makes you angry/sad

Things are going to get a little heavy...

I chose sad

After years of weight problems for one school year I was happy, I felt beautiful, I was confident.

that was it though for one year.

This was me then:







This is me now:








These are two very different girls. I miss how I was, and I know one day I will see her again. I am not going to sit here and set a date or a time frame. I just know some how, one day I will be her again.

enough of the sad stuff be back tomorrow for light and fluffy!

Day 7: a photo that makes me happy

I have a lot of photos in my albums that make me happy, but this one is pretty sweet for me.

When I was in first grade I was in my first theater production, it was being put on by the high school and they needed a bunch of little ones. It was the King and I.

You had to audition, by yourself on stage.

I remember being called, and walking up with out my music and sung my little heart out.

That was my first taste of the stage and from that day on I was determined to be the lead in my high school musical.

Fast forward about 10 years and I had worked my way up in my high school theater program, until the fateful day came when they announced auditions for my senior year show... "Hello, Dolly!"

Ok first good sign was that it was a female lead, bad sign was we, as a theater department, had some dynamite female contenders, girls that had been in more productions than myself. I didn't really familiarize myself with the music or the show because I didn't want to play Barbra's Dolly Levi, I wanted to make it my own. So I worked, I worked on my theatricality, I wanted to move people with my audition and not stand there a bundle of nerves like I knew I would be.

The day came and I there was a turn out, they finally called my name and I was just thank full that we weren't on stage by ourselves singing under the hot lights, no, we were down actually in the auditorium, I liked this set up better because it was more intimate. I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be, I focused on my point and started my piece. I was so proud of myself. I peaked at the right time, that is a worry with a performer, that you peak to soon, but I was spot on.

After all was said and done we grabbed our book bags and went home to a restless night. Because of some backlash a few years prior the theater directors weren't going to post the cast list until 9th period so they could be long gone. I knew that, the cast knew that but one person didn't.

I was in my music theory class and a few of the kids had all auditioned for roles so we were all speculating as to who would get what. One girl that I foolishly called my friend said based on how much the promotional poster looked like her she thought she would for sure get Dolly and I would get the supporting female role because she really didn't like my song choice. Hmpf, I would have to deal with her ignorant ass the whoooooooooole production.

Anyway, the bell rings and it is time to go to our next class and as I am walking out the door the assistant choir director stops me and starts singing Hello, Dolly and congratulates me... I was dumbfounded. I was all "WHA!?!?!?!" she then pulled me in to the choir office and I told her the cast list wasn't posted yet and she swore me to secrecy... I didn't tell a soul but the huge smile on my face told many something was up.

I got the lead in my High school musical.... it is my one claim to fame, but it honestly was one of the best experiences in my life.

This first picture is of me (crazy make up and crazy big hat) and on of best friends Erin D

Day 6: 20 of my favorite things

In no particular order:
1. Thunderstorms

2.Sweaters
3. Candles
4. Cooking
5. My blankie
6. Tulips



7. Christmas

8. A fresh out of the shower Husband
9. Euphoria by CK
10. Singing
11. making lists
12. Musicals

13. Sleeping/napping

14. My schmooper face (a.k.a Dot )
15. My Family
16. My husbands sweat pants
17.Flip Flops
18. Warm summer nights


19. Reading
20. A long hot shower

Day 5: My Favortie quote

I found this quote when I was still dancing and I carried it in my wallet for inspiration for years.

I am not sure where I found it but I am sure glad I did.

"To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. This is power, it is glory and it is yours for the taking." - Agnes De Mille

Day 4:My favorite book

Hands down it is Wally Lambs She's come undone

If you haven't read it... DO IT!!!! If you aren't sure keep reading...

Here is the Plot summary:
She's Come Undone explores a feisty young woman's journey through her suburban New England existence.
Dolores Price is heartbroken when her handsome, but immature, father leaves their suburban home for another woman. She and her mother move into her uptight grandmother's apartment in Easterly, where she finds herself an outsider in the adolescent social hierarchy and the strict Catholic school she attends. After being raped by a charming neighbor, Jack Speight, she turns to food and television for comfort. By the age of 17 she has eaten her way to clinical obesity.
Following the accidental death of her mother, she decides to attend college in Pennsylvania. There she is ridiculed for her weight, and cultivates a secret obsession with her peppy roommate's long-distance boyfriend, Dante, who sends love-letters and nude photos in the mail. After an ill-conceived one-night stand with her university's lesbian janitor she takes a long cab ride to Cape Cod where she witnesses a beached whale dying. She feels kinship with the animal and wades into the water to drown herself.
After her suicide attempt she is institutionalized for several years, but begins to work through her issues with the help of her therapist. She loses over one-hundred pounds but becomes frustrated with the slow-moving therapy. She decides to move to Vermont, where she has located Dante, the object of her college obsession.
Dolores gets a job at a local grocery store, and moves into an apartment right across the hall from Dante. He is working as a high school English teacher but is frustrated with the stagnation in his life, after having given up his youthful goal to become a priest. They begin a relationship, and even get married. However Dante continues to dominate Dolores. He spends her savings on a new van, and pressures her into getting an abortion. After the loss of her baby she becomes resentful. After her grandmother dies, she eventually admits that she orchestrated their entire relationship, after becoming infatuated with him through his photos. She then leaves and moves into her late grandmother's house, which she inherited.
At her grandmother's funeral, Dolores is able to reconnect with several friends from her past, who form a surrogate family for her in Providence. They encourage her to pursue her dreams, and she enrolls in some college courses. Here she meets Thayer, a single father, who is immediately smitten with her, despite her troubled past. Initially she rebuffs his advances, but they begin a tentative romance, predicated on Dolores's desire to have a child. Thayer even supports her as they receive IVF treatment, but they do not have enough money for a second attempt after the first one fails. Dolores reluctantly resigns herself to the fact that she may never be a mother.
The story ends as Dolores and Thayer are out on a boat whale-watching. She sees a whale in the distance swimming, and seems to be at peace with herself.

This book is a story of self acceptance, and self discovery. While reading this book, albeit the situations were somewhat extreme to relate to, I saw a lot of myself in Delores. Her struggles with her family, her self and her depression.

So there you have it my Favorite book.


Summary provided by Wikipedia

Kayla 4 Eva!!!

**** this is my tangent and me thinking I have any busines sticking my nose in to fashion*****

You done me wrong Tyra!

I love me some ANTM but after last nights show I don't think I will ever watch again.

It is so fake and so geared towards what hasn't been done before. It started with Whitney and she being the first "Plus sized" model, which evidently I was rooting for Whitney anyway becuase she was my favey but then something terrible happened.

Tyra's agenda got in the way and might I add she was horrible at hiding it too. Almost every episode she would say

"Oh to have a plus size model"
"This would be a first ever on ANTM"
"I would luuuuuuuuuuve to have me a girl wit curves y'all represent!!!"

You know because she likes like to add in her Ghetto every now and then.

This season from the very first episode it was crystal clear what she wanted, she wanted the uber awkward and ugly pretty girl to win.

This season I tuned in every week and I will say the girls in the first few photo shoots were lack luster and Anne Did deserve to win best photo but after that there were totally better pictured to be had in the group.... and how about Anne keep her tears to her self about not getting best picture for the 6th WEEK IN A ROW!!!!

I am not going to deny that Anne takes great pictures, for what you get in front of you the girl can take an amazing photo, but that is it. She can't speak, she can't walk (or roller skate I might add) and after seasons upon seasons of girls getting sent home for the same reason I knew Anne's reign of queen bee would soon be ending and then my fav... KAYLA could take the crown.

Oh Kayla, I have loved her since casting, she was open about who she was, was sweet and gurl was she FIERCE!!!!

She falter a little bit during the commercial but can you blame her? With what she had been through, what she had opened up about, and how she got through it was awesome.

Anyway on to last nights episode. The girls did a moving editorial which was pretty sweet, Kayla rocked it like always, Chelsa was stuck up like always, Jane was.... well lifeless Jane like always and then there was Anne, awkward Anne getting praised for being weird.

When it came down to the panel and they played the editorial back I thought the final project was pretty good, but laughed when they said that they couldn't use any footage from Anne's runway walk because it was that terrible. That was it, I thought that concreted the fact that she was on her way home with a hug from Tyra and some of her wisdom like"work on your walk and you will go far"

But no.

They sent Jane home, ok saw that coming.

AND KAYLA!!!!

I was/still am pissed.

I understand what the show is doing, they are trying to show the world that even awkward is beautiful, and really, round of applause ANTM, you did it, you succeeded, but you shouldn't have sent someone more deserving and not to mention more talented home to make your point.

I mean come on the final challenge is a RUNWAY SHOW AND THE GIRL CAN BARELY WALK!!!!!!

There Anne is going to be galoping down the runway in Roberto Cavalli

Damn you ANTM and your hidden agenda... damn you!

Day 3: My favorite television program

After much deliberation with myself it is still a hung jury.

I can't decide between 2 shows

True Blood and Grey's Anatomy

I decided to use current on air shows because using shows that are no longer on the air opens a whole other can of worms.

True Blood:



why I like it: like I said I have a thing for vampires, even more so for vamps that have hung on their humanity. This show also plays on a the whole vampire world by having them "Out of the coffin" fighting for their rights and also delving in to a whole legal system that is centuries old.

The show takes place in fictional Bon Temps, LA which if you didn't know is a hot bed for the super natural not only do vamps call it home, but so do shape shifters, werewolves, fairies, witches, maynads.

Yeah the first season sucked me in and now, even though it is getting quite ridculous (like I said fairies) I can't stop watching.

Grey's Anatomy:

Besides Friends I have been watching this show the longest. I came in during season two and haven't looked back. My college friend Megan and I would watch it every Sunday, she would drive back to campus with a Pizza from the restraunt she worked at and I would have the oven pre-heating and the tv tuned to ABC and we would be glued to our seats until credits rolled.

Why I like it:

When I first started watching it I liked how it was days of our lives meets er but for my generation. Nothing was over acted, the charcters where sarcastic and the surgeries were great.

I rooted for Mer and Mcdreamy

I felt as numb as Christina did when she was left at the alter

and OMG did I cry when George died. I didn't see it coming....

And I watched in horror when the hospital was under attack by a loan gunmen (that episode is now my favorite, followed very closely by the bomb episode)

Anway I still tune in every Thursday to see what Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital has in store for me.

Day 2: Favorite Movie

Ok, I wish I had some old time grand movie that was my favorite but I don't.

My favorite movie is Interview with the Vampire.

Yes, I have a thing for vampires (I would just like to add though it was waaaaaaaaay before Twilight).

I saw this movie when it first came out to video, I was in third grade and yes I was scared because I was 8 but I was also memorized. This was the first vampire movie that totally glamorized the whole vampire world. They were rich, beautiful, passionate lovers and very deadly.

They weren't a count from Transylvania that wore an opera cape and talked like count chocula, but they wanted to fit in they wanted to be fashionable... which made them even better predators. Before I bought the DVD there was a summer where this was on HBO every. single. night (hahahaha that's funny because it was only on after the sun went down) and I watched it every time, there was even one time where my mom came down stairs to go to work and I was still awake, eyes blood shot, watching it.

I don't watch it in excess any longer but I will break it out once a year and relish in Tom Cruise (pre crazy couch jumping) and a sinfully dashing green eyed brad pit. I don't care how much white body make up they used on him... he was still hot.

Day 1: Your favorite song

This is a hard one.

I love music for every possible reason known to man, from the lyrics to the slightest change in key will make my heart skip a beat so needless to say I loooooooooove a lot of music.

I was going to pick the one song that for years I said was my favorite and that today when I hear it will stop everything and crank it up but the song makes me sound like a pervert

That song is "Crash" by DMB, it is from the bands more commercial period but I love everything about this song, I love the simplicity of if, the sexual innuendos, the music video and the one line that isn't even listed in the lyrics and was probably an after thought is my favorite part of the song, "I'm the king of the castle, your the dirty rascal".

You've got your ball
you've got your chain
tied to me tight tie me up again
who's got their claws
in you my friend
Into your heart I'll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
and sweet you roll
Lost for you I'm so lost for you

You come crash into me
And I come into you
I come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream

Touch your lips just so I know
In your eyes, love, it glows so
I'm bare boned and crazy for you
When you come crash
into me, baby
And I come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream

If I've gone overboard
Then I'm begging you
to forgive me
in my haste
When I'm holding you so girl
close to me

Oh and you come crash
into me, baby
And I come into you
Hike up your skirt a little more
and show the world to me
Hike up your skirt a little more
and show your world to me
In a boys dream.. In a boys dream

Oh I watch you there
through the window
And I stare at you
You wear nothing but you
wear it so well
tied up and twisted
the way I'd like to be
For you, for me, come crash
into me

30 days of 30 things

Ok, so I know this was last week or maybe 2 weeks ago, but to refrain from blogging about Christmas or the house I need something to keep my blog occupied so I am hoping on the band wagon to do the meme 30 days of me.

Day 1 – your favorite song
Day 2 – your favorite movie
Day 3 – your favorite television program
Day 4 – your favorite book
Day 5 – your favorite quote
Day 6 – 20 of my favorite things
Day 7 – a photo that makes you happy
Day 8 – a photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9 – a photo you took
Day 10 – a photo taken over 10 years ago of you
Day 11 – a photo of you recently
Day 12 – something you are OCD about
Day 13 – a fictional book
Day 14 – a non-fictional book
Day 15 – your dream house
Day 16 – a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17 – an art piece (drawing, sculpture, painting, etc)
Day 18 – your wedding/future wedding/past wedding
Day 19 – a talent of yours
Day 20 – a hobby of yours
Day 21 – a recipe
Day 22 – a website
Day 23 – a youtube video
Day 24 – where I live
Day 25 – your day, in great detail
Day 26 – your week, in great detail
Day 27 – my worst habit
Day 28 – what’s in my handbag/purse
Day 29 – hopes,dreams, plans for the next 365 days
Day 30 – a dream for the future beyond the next year

so hold on to your hats its going to be a fun 30 days... who's excited? I am excited.

last bit for awhile

I, Mrs. G, Promise that this will be my last bit of Christmas talk for at least a week...

Ok, so this year Mr.G and I are going to be on a tight budget for Christmas, so I thought in an effort to make our dollar stretch farther, that we could add a touch of home made-ness to the festivities.

I proposed this idea to Mr.G a few nights ago:

Me: "Hey, babe, you know how we are going to be on a tight budget for Christmas shopping?"

Hubs:"yes."

Me:"well, I had an idea, what I made home made bread and jam to give to everyone and then we can still get them a little something else?"

Hubs:"no."

Me:"uh why?"

Hubs:"that may work for your family but not for mine."

As soon as the words left his lips, I started to boil. He heard what he said and he, and by the look on his face he knew it was wrong.

Me:"so are you telling my your family is just a bunch of materialistic snobs?"

Hubs:"Yeah, we like of stuff."

Me:"hmmmm, I will keep that in mind, and while I make my family bread and jam for Christmas that will mean more to them then a Dvd or some other stupid gadget, you have fun buying something for every.single. person by yourself. You take care of your family and I will take care of mine."

I later apologized for calling his family materialistic snobs, but in return I wanted an apology too. I was only trying to help, and he shot my down cold without even thinking twice about it. And not to mention the whole it may work for your family thing, yeah your right mister it would work for my family because they are suckers for my home made goodies, just like your family is.

Ugh! I am still mad about it. I think what has kept this fire going is the fact that I have already listened to him moan about Christmas, and like I said I was only trying to help.

I mean am I wrong here?

93.3

***Just be warned that this is the first of many holiday themed posts. I am that excited, and will probably submit you to more holiday cheer than you can take... what I am saying is, you are more than likely going to want to punch me in the face before the season is out***

This is a local soft rock station.

This said soft rock station has started to play Christmas music 24/7.

I, my dear readers, am in HEAVEN!!!

Yes, I am one of those people that neglect Thanksgiving. I will say that having a Hubs that sees turkey day as more than just 2 days off work and majors sales has helped me loads with seeing it more as a just a bump in the road to Christmas.

I still have not heard one of my favorite Christmas tunes, a story about a girl rationalizing for her one Christmas wish to be full filled. And what did she ask the man in red?

For a Hippopotamus of course.

I love this song.

Especially the part where she burns her parents when they say a hippo would eat her and she says "Teacher says a hippo is a vegetarian."

HA! take that parental units!

We all had those Christmas wishes growing up.

Mine was for one of those plastic play houses, you know the one, the yellow ones with the pink door and green shutters. Oh, how I wanted one of those play houses, a place to call my own and wait for my imaginary husband to pull in to the drive as I took a mud pie out of the oven and called little Jack and Jane in for supper.

I never did get one....

Back then it was devastating, but now I see how having a big plastic playhouse on a small deck would be problematic.

My little 5 year old self vowed to get my daughter a plastic playhouse and by golly I intend to keep that promise.

What was your hippopotamus?

Weekend recp: Old Friends, finding forks, and watching zombies.

This weekend I got to spend some quaility time with one of my oldest friends.

E and I have been friends since 6th grade, at this point I am not sure how we met, probably through band. E and I have a friendship that we can not talk or see eachother for weeks, maybe even months and we pick up right where we left off. Like this weekend for example.

About mid week I got a text from E saying she would be home this weekend and that we should catch a play at our Alma mater that her Dad was the tech director for. We had dinner at her house (just like we did when we were growing up) and then hit the road for our night at the theater. I say hit the road when really you can see our high school from her front porch, anyway we arrive and the play was ok for high school but we had more fun mocking the students and sitting back in amazement at how much these kids reminded us of US when we were in high school. I had to convince Erin that we were that juvenile once... she still doesn't believe me.

The next day I took E shopping!!!!! It was so much fun. She wanted me to help her look winter cute. That's right y'all I may be a hot mess during the rest of the year but winter is my SLAM!!! We were just going to go to one store but one store turned in to 2, 2 turned in to 5. We. Went. Everywhere! By the time we made our last stop we were both kinda cranky... then we had a good laugh as to how we old, those damn whipper snappers standing in the middle of the walk way with there skinny jeans, ugg boots, just MOVE!!!!

After our marathon shopping spree I came home and I crashed, I was so ever loving tired and my feet hurt... its a pain to get old.

On Sunday Hubs and I started our purge of the rental to make way for packing for the house. We were shredding papers like it was water gate. We have acquired a lot of crap the past 2 years of living with each other and it needed to happen, good news is all the paper clippings are going to be used for when we pack so DUEL PURPOSE!!!! Also, when cleaning out our storage closet, there was a random box that said "Side table and wii stuff", I decided to go through it to see what was in it and I found missing tupper ware, 2 plates, 2 bowls, about half of our flatware set that we rationalized it's state of missing as fork and spoon goblins had stolen them in the night. So what did we learn? 1. Don't reuse boxes, and if you must either don't write what they contain on it or scratch it out and re-write it....

I will conclude this post with the last label in my blog post... watching zombies.

I know, zombies aren't real, with that being said they are on my top 3 list of things I am petrified of , right under snakes. Maybe it is the mob mentality they bring to any situation, or the fact that they want to me to be the main course. I have trouble watching zombie movies because 1. I am scared of zombies 2. zombie watching turns in to zombie dreams, which turn in to me being woken up scared shitless and having to make myself watch some type of Disney movie to lull me back to sleep, something preferably with songs to sing a long with because that always takes me to my happy place.

As much as I am terrified of zombies, I also can't look away when there is a zombie movie on. So when I heard a T.V. series was coming out based on zombies I was totally in. I recorded and watching The Walking Dead on AMC and this weekend and hooked..... even if I did have to watch The Little Mermaid afterward.

50

We had snow flurries and it made my heart skip a beat a beat closer towards Christmas.


I love Christmas you guys to a point where it is considered stalking, to a point where it has a restraining order on me... yeah that sounds about right.


When I see my first Christmas commercial I beam, yes this year it caught me off guard because it was 80 degrees outside but I was thrilled none the less.


There are 50 days until Christmas, 50 days until gift giving, gift receiving. Even less time until tree trimming, cookie baking, Christmas light hanging, caroling. OMG I am so excited! Even though this year will be a hard one for me. This will be my first Christmas away from my family and it will be even harder to be away from my Gabers (as I like to call him) on his very first Christmas. As much as I am not looking forward to it, I am looking forward to it, does that make sense?


I know how hard it was for Hubs to away from his family on Thanksgiving and Christmas last year due to work. So this year we will be with his family, which I knew was going to happen I mean it is only fair but still I can be sad right? I will say I am looking forward to new traditions, to seeing what his family does to celebrate this holiday.

This year we may be celebrating (a) Christmas in our first home! That's right bloggies, they accepted our offer and we are in the throws of buying our first house. It isn't for sure yet but we are hoping everything goes smoothly from here on out and we should be closing the end of this month!

I am such a sap. I started listening to Christmas music the other day and when I'll be home for Christmas came on I started tearing up. And not because I was sad, but because I could be in my new home for Christmas.... SQUEAL!!!!

You can check out the story of our house purchase here

The F- word

Over the weekend, I was snuggled down with my favorite quilt and pillow, flipping through channels. I stoped on a local news station because the weather was about to come on and thought I would take this change and try to pre-plan my outfits for the week.

I sat. I listend.

Then I heard it.... the F- word...

FLURRIES!!!!!

I am not kidding you, they said on Friday we could see flurries.

Now, I am all for cooler weather but listen mother nature you have to ease me in to it... and snow in November is not easing me in to it... in fact it sends a shiver down my spine, a shiver of what is to come.... more and more snow and cold.

By the way Christmas is next month and when I realized this I made my Christmas list. You may say its early and I say it is early enough to get in on some black Friday sales... see I look out for my family.

Well, hello potential home owner

We made an offer on our first home today....

Prayers please.

Happy Birthday!

Today is Mr. G's Birthday!!!!

He turns 26 on the 26th... heh. I love stuff like that.

Too bad he has to work late tonight, but never fear there is a small birthday celebration coming his way.

His birthday gift from me?

A crap (no pun intended) load of new boxers. I will say that there was some motivation behind this gift. Husband loves novelty boxers, for instance for one Christmas as a gag gift I gave him silk leopard print boxers... to bad he loves them and wears them.

Not learning from my mistake, the next year found my self again in the mens section standing in front of a rack of comic covered undies. I picked one out that I thought was stellar. When King Kong came out Husband loved it, so much that I bought him a pair of boxers that have King Kong on the front and on the hiney it says AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH... he loved them and has worn them thin.

This isn't the worst pair, the worst ones would have to be the Simpsons boxers that say MAKE WAY FOR WILLIE!!! on them and have the hot headed Scotsman ripping his shirt off... oy vey.

I bought him some boring, tartan boxers (12 pairs to be exact) in hopes that I can sneak this hole ridden jokes to the trash.

I don't feel to bad about this gift considering husband insisted that I use the gift cards from my birthday to purchase new bras, I guess having missing under wire, and hair dye stains on a bra isn't sexy.... who knew?

a little bit of this, a little bit of that.

Things have been crazy busy so I can't seem to wrap my head around writing an actual post so bullet point style thoughts will have to do.

Today is my Friday! Yay, for a three day weekend.

Hubs didn't get his promotion.... it was a rough night in the G house.


I am seeing paranormal activity 2 tonight, at midnight. SO PUMPED!!!


My house is again a disaster area, need to clean this weekend.


I miss our friendship and how close we were. There is a distance now and it just seems forced. and I don't know what to do....


I want sushi.


I get to watch Gabe on Friday....insert biggest, cheesiest smile eva!


Hubs birthday is Tuesday and I am still sans gift.


I ate a fun size snickers... breakfast of champs right here.


Kanye West is dumb. Diamonds for teeth? really?


Uh, did anybody else see the Glee cast pictures from GQ? Ew....

And Scene.

referred

This is the farthest I have made it. Please pray this works out.

I love lamp.

I know 2 posts in one day.

I need some advice.

When Hubs Grandma passed away we got a bunch of furniture. Including some lamps that kept getting more and more expensive every time we were told about them. Now because they kept getting more and more expensive we were expecting these huge elaborate lamps. When we got them they are heavy, but very plain brass lamps (that have no shades). I really want to paint them, we have absolutely nothing brass in our house and already have an oil rubbed bronze thing going on.These lamps have no sentimental value whatsoever, other than the fact that they were hers. I mean they aren't antiques, she had redone her living room a few months prior to entering the hospital. But we were told we can't get rid of them or anything like that because of how "expensive" they were (I am not saying they didn't cost money, they were a set but we were told they were $400.00).

Should I paint or should they forever stay in the closet?

My life in clothing: an inventory

I have a lot of crap.



So much so my closet is always a mess, walk in closet? Not even close. Hubs and I are subjected to leaning as far in as humanly possible and reaching for an article of clothing that is more than likely out of our reach so we have to settle for what is right inside the door. For the fear of falling and being impaled by some lost forgotten what not is to great my friends, to great.


I would say that it is Husbands fault too but it totally isn't, I just place the blame on him so I don't have to go through my stuff. I will say it isn't like I have a lot of nick nacks and such, oh no it is all clothing.


I love clothing so much it is almost unhealthy. There is nothing I love more than a (very) full closet, the choices, the possibilities. The problem is there was a time when I filled my closet with less than stellar items. Like items from a thrift store and no I don't mean vintage. When I was in high school it was the ting to wear thrift store sport Jerseys but of the little kid kind. There was nothing like finding a bright orange kids soccer Jersey with the with words TIMBITS written on the back. If you found that you stuck gold. Those days were priceless, on the last Wednesday of the month certain tags were different percentages off I could get stuff for pennies, PENNIES!!! All I needed for back to school was $20.00 and I was set. Then came the time when I got a job at Old Navy, Oh Old Navy how I loved you and your discount card. I filled my closet with the latest fashions, it was awesome working in logistics because we got to see everything before it was even out on the floor. From the day I was hired I have been hooked on ON, granted sometimes they have shotty fashion but I know their clothes like the back of my hand. I know what fits, what works, how much things will shrink. This is dangerous because I don't have to step foot in a dressing room, let alone a store. I can shop in the comfort of my computer chair wearing sweats. And let me not even get in to the specials and discounts galore that they have (omg I sound like a commercial)


I am a self diagnosed clothes hoarder, I never want to get rid of anything in case of the what if. I mean I could have not worn it in years but the moment I see I have to keep it. Why? You may ask? I have no idea. I am not a size 10, nor do I ever think I will be that size again. It is nothing against me but, I don't think that was a manageable weight for my body considering I was only a size 10 for one year because I was so hella active that eating was an afterthought. That was 2004, I still have clothes that are a size 10 in my closet as we speak.


I need to do an inventory and actually try things on, and ask Do I feel good in this? Meaning do I feel good about myself in this? and if the answer is no, then to the good will with you!


I think I will be surprised at how much I get rid of. I am tired of wishing away my body when I really want to embrace it, because this is here and now and why live in the past?


This is coming from a new opportunity that may be coming my way (prayers please I need this so badly to work out), which will cause me to leave some of my ho humness in the dust. If this works out I will be spending more time in grown up clothes (ha) and look more like an adult then a college kid. When this opportunity came up I actually had to say "uh, what the heck am I going to wear?" I have no real dress clothes, I mean not even business casual ones. I have the beginnings of it but I am no where close to having what I would need to not have to do laundry all. the. freaking. time. You can't even say the words Jeans, let alone wear them ( this is not a true statement except for the wearing them part, you still can't do that).


So it is time my dear readers to part with the past and embrace the here and now.


P.s. My boobs are super jiggly today. I am wearing a bra that I don't wear that often because it is black and I mostly wear lighter colors and I am not about to pull and Britney. I was walking out the warehouse to drop off some paperwork and looked down and was mesmerized by own boobs.

A mash up

1. I really don't care for Halloween. I stopped trick or treating when I was like 10 or so and never looked back. It is strange that as a thespian, I don't go all out on the one day a year it is socially acceptable to wear a costume in public. Instead I am that person, the one that sits with the blinds drawn and lights off acting like I am not home trying to avoid beggars of candy. I will say one bonus for this year is the plethora of scary movies that come out and are played on tv.


2. I am having some MAJOR PROBLEMS with Glee this season.I beginning to strongly dislike Lea Michele . I can't decide if it is her I don't like or her character, or both. I mean her acting isn't anything to write home about and I think she is taking the whole "you are the next Barbra Streisand" and little to far. At the end of last nights episode I laughed at her mannerisms, it was all "what would Barbra do right now, at this point in the song?" I don't know, it was just annoying. Oh and P.S. since when did her character become a bitch? I mean I thought her character last year was a bit over the top but she was sweet at least. I knew she had taken a turn for the worst when she sent Sunshine (was that her name) to that abandoned crack house... a crack house.. really Rachael? Also, Puck is in jail? Girls are making out? Last time I checked this was a show about a high school Glee Club, not the Real World Lima Ohio.


3. What is it with these summer like temps? I had to grab some summer tops out of storage this weekend because it was so hot. Ok, so maybe putting them away in the first place was a little early, but I want cooler temperatures dang it! I thought maybe wearing only sweaters would convince mother nature to take it down a notch or 2.


4.Amber on Teen Mom should loose custody of Leah. Look at your life, look at choices... considering your current bf shouldn't even be within 100 yards of your daughter. Yeah that's right he went to prison for child molestation.... way to pick em Amber, way to pick em.


5. This week I have been living on coffee which is unusual for me. I am a soda girl all the way, but for some reason this week I can't get enough of the hot caffinated goodness. Even though I am not sure you can call it coffee anymore after I douse it in hot chocolate. What? You have never tried it? You should, I use the land o lake mint chocolate chip hot chocolate mix and use it as a creamer and it is moi deliciouso.


6. I watched the little mermaid earlier in the week and couldn't stop analyzing it. I mean my problem wasn't that there is a mermaid princess that has an awesome voice, that hangs with a fish and a crab and falls in love with a human. Oh no, my problem was, why didn't she sit Eric down and write out what was going on? I mean she signed her name on the contract, so why didn't she say



Dear Prince Eric,
I have something to tell you, so you better sit down. First, I was totally the chick that was singing to you. Now, the reason I disappeared before you were really conscience is because I am a mermaid. I know, I know, pick your jaw up off the floor. Yeah, so I thought you were pretty smokin and in that brief musical interlude I fell in love with you. So I did what any girl in love would do, I went to the sea witch, which P.S. is a totally half octopus half old lady that dresses pretty scantly for her age... but who am I to judge I am wearing a couple shells. Ok, anyway, I went to see that sea witch and in exchange for my legs she took my voice, and said that if you kissed me by sunset on the third day I can have my voice back and keep my legs. So yeah, My friends a fish and a crab (which could you do me a solid and have your chef leave him alone?) have been helping me so lets just get to the good part and lay one on me already. Cause if you don't I get turned in to a creepy bottom dweller sea weed thing and lets face it, that isn't a good look on anyone. I know this is a lot to take in right now, so after you digest everything you can find me in my room, combing my hair with a fork.

Love,
Ariel
P.S. did I mention I am princess?



7. I didn't eat my oatmeal this morning... fail.


8. Our house is leaking. We have a huge swampy mess in our living room right now, where we are guessing a pipe is leaking. yay.


9. During the house hunting last night hubs and I think we found our house.


10. OMG IT IS ALMOST LUNCH TIME!!!!!!!

11.ok, so lunch isn't agreeing with me... insert sad face.

12. Just got a call from Hubs and he called maitience and told them of our swamp lands and they came to check it out. Well the geniuses that were my next door neighbors didn't turn off the water to their washing machine all the way... so it was leaking. So much so it seeped through the wall and under our floor. They don't know what they are going to do yet, but there was talk of ripping and cutting holes in walls.

13. I am super tired today due to husband waking me up last night to tell me I was hogging all of the covers... which I was. But then, he stopped on an infomercial called Flower Power and it was one of those time life cd collections. I effing loves those infomercials.... even at 1:30 in the morning.

14. I keep thinking today is Thursday and can I tell you how disappointed I am that it isn't.

15. And finally, I love the sound of leaves crunching under my feet.

The hunt continues

This is a really long and boring post about houses.



I will probably post something about our house hunting (while it is in full swing) one a week so be warned.

So where where we, ah yes starting the hunt.

I mentioned a couple of posts ago that we had actually looked at houses. It was a nice change from just creepily driving by like we are casing the place.

We looked at 5 houses that day:

Small, older home : this was the house that we had been looking at for some time. It had been completely renovated, and looked amazing in the pictures so we were really excited that this was the first house to see. After looking around, for about 30 min we had made up or minds that this house needed to be taken off of our list. While walking around we just felt that 1. it was way to small 2. there was absolutely no storage and 3. they did some shotty renovation. Lets just say a door fell off its hinges while I was trying to see the laundry room and I freaked out. I was stuck in the mind set "you break it you buy it."

Bigger, remodeled home: This house was it. We loved everything about it, the open floor plan, the nice size bedrooms, the big finished basement. Hubs and I both look at different things first when we walk in to a house, I go directly to the kitchen and he goes outside to see the back yard situation. We both didn't have to compromise what was important to us and that was awesome. Oh and the Neighborhood was Ah.Mazing, we just sighed and thought... "yeah, we could live here."

More traditional home : This house was a close second, although I didn't like the lay out. It was more traditional than say a split level or a bi level so all the rooms were closed off I felt. It had 5 bedrooms, one of which was a surprise because it was in the huge finished basement, hubs loved his potential man cave. The work they had done was ok, the kitchen was great but the bathrooms and such were ok. This was the first house where there was an actual Master Bathroom even it was tiny. The neighbor was good although the next door neighbor was a bit odd.

The newer build : This was almost a no as soon as we walked in. We want our house to have some character and this didn't have it. It looked and felt like a pre fab house and it kind of creeped us out that people were still living there. We went in to the basement and there were dirty clothes every where and it was just a little weird. We would have had to build a fence and replace the carpeting, not something we want to do right off the bat. Oh, and it smelled weird...

The bank owned property: This house has some serious potential for someone who has the money. The house was a big open ranch that had a really nice lay out. The issue was it was sold as is and that meant, holes in the wall, nasty carpet (in one room there looked to be a huge blood stain on the carpet, which in all actuality was probably paint but in my head was blood), broken fixtures. It was just sad because it was such a nice house, you could tell it once was. We just don't have the money to fix it up.

We left our first day of hunting feeling pretty good, we knew which house we wanted and decided to talk to the bank when we got back in town on Monday. Well, we did and it didn't go over as well as we had hoped. The original amount we were pre-approved for was actually higher than what the bank will loan us based on our salary and such. We weren't discouraged though because we knew this is just one of those things that happen when you are trying to buy a house. So we regrouped and talked with our realtor and now have sooooo much more options... who would have thought that less money meant more to choose from?

This weekend we start the hunt again.

Mile high club

Scene: The ATL Airport it is around 9pm. We have just landed and Husband decides he needs a beer, so we start looking for a bar, we find a book store with a bar in it... we both win.

Husband sits down at the bar and I tell him I am going to look around at the bookstore, he orders his drink.

I know what I am on the look out for, I want a classic to read but where is the classics section? I walk around the store and don't see anything that resembles a classic so I begin another search to no avail. I reach the last book end and give a little hmpf, and decide to start and the beginning again because there has to be something there that sparks my interest. I walk over to the first book shelf and look over and see the classic section. Huzzah!!! I start to walk towards it and there is a road block, in the size of a 6ft older gentleman with a rolling suit case behind him. Not wanting to bother this weary traveler who is standing between me and Jane Austen, I put on the facade that I am browsing. I start looking at the end cap that is right next to the classics section waiting for this gentleman to walk by so I can make my move . I am not paying the lest bit attention to what I am doing or what I am looking at, it is all an act. he finally starts to make his move and I start delving in to my Oscar winning performance and pick up a book from the end cap and begin to flip through it. As the man begins to pass me he pauses, makes eye contact with me and looks stunned and ashamed. Me being confused think to myself " I am standing here minding my own business, how could I offend someone that I have never spoken to?" I begin to think that maybe its not me its him, maybe he is one of those curmudgeon types Oh well. I finally look at the book in my hands before placing it back on the shelf ...

"that's, odd there is a half naked woman on the cover."

I put the book back and look at the other books

"OMG THERE ARE NAKED PEOPLE EVERYWHERE!!!!!"

it all starts to click when I see book titles like "A traveler's companion Karma Sutra" or "Joining the mile high club" taken aback I glance up to see the section I am standing in.....

EROTICA.

All I wanted was a copy of little women.... funny, how I am sure I saw that title in the erotica section as well. Red faced I turned the corner, grabbed my copy of little women and joined my husband at the bar, where I too had a drink...

I am here....

Sorry kiddos for my disappearing act.

Bet you didn't know I was an awesome magician.

This past week was a busy one filled with house hunting, doctors appointments and a trip down south for a wedding.

The house hunting was really fun and scary at the same time. We saw about 6 houses and of those 6 houses only 2 made our final list. It was good to get in there and really start to figure out what we want, our realtor is great and we are actually relieved that he is such a cool guy and is really there to help direct us in the ways of purchasing a home.

The wedding was great. I sometimes forget that hubs left a whole life down there to join mine, and although he loves my friends he really misses his old ones. He got to see people that he hadn't seen years and we really enjoyed ourselves.

I am back to the old grind stone and am soooooo thankful we are moving in to our slow season. For some reason this summer I thought I dealers were extra whinny, so it is good to get a break.

I am back to posting regularly and have a few upcoming post about my silly shenanigans, so stay tuned!!!

What does it mean? Part 2

Last night was a bad night on the dream front, it was so real and so terrifying that the feelings have lingered in to today.

Hubs and I were at home, or what my dream called our home. Our room was the same shape as our room now, but everything was wood. The floors, the walls, the doors, the ceiling, our big four poster bed (which we don't have in real life). It was a night where the moon was high and full and the light of it filled our room. The windows were open and they had white sheer curtains on them. I was sleeping and was stirred awake by a noise of some kind. I remember feeling uneasy, like I knew what the sounds of my house were and that wasn't a normal house noise. I stayed in bed with my eyes closed and wait and don't hear it again, so I try to go back to sleep. The wind picks up and the leaves start to really rustle and the noise happens again and this time it is louder. I wake up and make the mistake of opening my eyes this time. I sit and I wait and nothing happens? Was it a dream? Then why did I wake up? I try to fall asleep again and as my eyes close I see the out line of somethings face, it is smiling at me and not in a cheery way. Right as I am dozing I hear what sounds like foot steps, my eyes shoot open and the footsteps are getting closer, I am scared. Then what ever is there starts to growl, and claw at the door. Screaming I wake Hubs up and he is less then enthused at what is happening, I can't get him to get him to wake up completely and I am telling him something is right out side the door, it is trying to get in. He is telling me I am crazy and that I am must have dreamt it. He lays me back down and I try to steady my breathing. I lay there not being able to move afraid if I move it will hear me. The steps start to happen again, they aren't getting farther away but they are right out side the door, what ever is out there is pacing. I hear it breathing and the growl starts, the door starts shaking violently as it is trying to get in, I can hear its nails on the door. I shake Hubs awake, I am hysterical now, and tell him to please go and lock the door. I am paralyzed with my fear, sobbing, begging him to please lock the door. He won't do it, he says I am being silly. I can't stop crying now, I am terrified. I realize that it is lightening outside, and that I am seeing its face all over my walls. Great, I am crazy, my mind is playing tricks on me. I hear a crack of thunder and is sounds like the growl. "great" I say, and try to get comfortable again. I finally am able to fall asleep again and when I wake it is a dark and very dreey morning. I am in bed alone, but hear hubs up and about. I thank God that is was probably all a dream and I walk over to the bathroom door, I am going to apologize to husband for a sleepless night, even though I can't remember if it was real or not. I walk over to the door and it won't open. I push will all my might and it won't budge. I call out to husband and there is no answer. I scream at husband, to open the door and he says "what?" and he is standing in the hallway, ghost white. I ask him what is wrong and he said "I am looking at these claw marks on the door, come here and look at these." As I walk over and I am about to enter the door way the door slams shut. I start screaming, because hello the door the just slammed shut. Hubs starts banging on the door, and trying to get in and when I back away the door opens up. He asks if I am ok and say yes but every time I move toward the door is slams shut.

I woke up so abruptly this morning ( it was before 5) and had a really hard time going back to sleep. This dream scared the crap out of me. Probably because when you are dealing with the unknown it is hard to fight it.

When analyzing this one it was hard to determine what to pin point. I knew I was going to do wood because it was just really weird that everything in that room was wood. But what do I use to call what was happening? A Ghost? A Demon?
Wood: To see wood in your dream indicates that you may be feeling emotionless. You may just be going through the motions of your walking life or acting with out spending time to consider the repercussions of your actions.
Light (this covers lightning and moon light): to see the full moon in your dreams represents the end of a project. To see light in your dreams means clarity of mind. To see lightning in your dream denotes increased awareness, perception and cleansing. Alternatively, lightening may reflect an unexpected turn of events. It reflects the many interacting forces present in your waking life which are beyond your control.
Noise: Strange noises in dreams are representative of the unknown and the unforeseen. You may have uncertainty or fear surrounding a life situation, and the noise is calling you to tend to that situation.
Demon: is a vision of your darker self "shadow self"

Weird huh....

bouncing some ideas off you

Options that is.



I am horrible at decision making. HORRIBLE!


For example, when Hubs and I are going to go out to eat and he asks me what I want. 11 out of 10 times I say (yes, I realize I said 11 out of 10, I meant to) "oh, I don't know, what do YOU want." I try to play it up as I am being nice but really I can't make up my mind. Husband used to fall for it and think it was awesome that I let him pick the place, but he is on to me now. We actually got in to a tiff (a playful one) about my lack of decision making, in ended with me having cheez-its and sherbet for dinner..... some would say that I lost, I see it as I won.



ok point of the post.



How can I decide on a house?



A HOUSE!!!!!



We have a list of wants, I say wants because I don't need hardwood floors to live so really every thing is negotiable.



Our Want list is as such:

At least 3 bedrooms 2 baths (doesn't have to be 2 full baths can be 1.5)
Fenced in yard
Garage, preferably 2 car
Basement
Hardwood (or laminate) floors
Big kitchen (preferably updated)
Fireplace
Dining room or eat in kitchen
in a good school district


That is really it.


I get the sweats thinking about it. Ok, in all honesty it is soooooo much fun, probably to much fun, to look at houses. Now, with our budget, which is very, very limited you get one of these categories:


1. the complete fixer upper: this is the house that was built in 1980 and is stayed in 1980. Complete with wood paneling and mirrored walls. Hubs and I are not ones to shy away from some renovation but when the kitchen has to be gutted to get rid of the all kinds of wrong it was.... we say NEXT!


2. Wow this is really only this much?.... what is wrong with it: this is the house that is amazing on paper but when you see it you think that they took waaaaaaay to much liberty in their descriptions. We saw a house that said it was $49,000 and was right down the street from us. So I delved in more and the description sounded great but it did say that it needed some work.... yeah there are no walls. NO WALLS, PEOPLE!!!!! I am pretty sure that is a need not a want.


3. the pre-fab houses: This is the neighborhood that everything is deja vu. There are the same 3 house designs just in different muted colors lining the streets. Some and I mean a small few are ok, but usually they look and are cheap. Maybe it is just the ones that we have looked at, but our town house now looks more sound then these babies.

4. The Diamonds in the Rough: Ah, the diamonds in the rough, these are the houses is in a neighborhood where it is really hit or miss. On one street you may have 2 or 3 houses that really took pride in ownership and that part of the neighborhood looks awesome, then you round a corner to see a broken down lawn tractor on the front lawn, screen door busted, paint chipping, trash on the front porch (for reals y'all I saw this). This seems to be the case with the 2 houses that are on our list of must sees.

I will post pictures when I get a chance but let me tell you about the 2 houses.

House one: The Yellow Bi-Level
This house has been on the market for almost a year and it seems that they are ready to get rid of it, which means there is probably room to negotiate the price.

It is 3 bedrooms 1.5 bath Bi-Level built in the 1981.
It is in a well established neighborhood which falls under the number 4 category. I wasn't blown away by the neighborhood, but there were kids out riding their bikes, which hubs said he liked.
it has a 2 car garage,large fenced back yard, hot tub (hubs squealed when I told him it stayed), a deck, a completely renovated kitchen with cherry cabinets, granite counter tops, stainless steel appliances (all of which stay), ceramic tile, the bathrooms have been renovated, a wood burning fireplace in the basement and there is new paint and carpeting . Wow, I sound like one of those Saturday real estate shows.... anyway some of the draw backs are even though it has a fence and a deck they weren't really maintained so they need to be fixed/and or replaced,it is on the small side being 1,200 sqft (not to small), there is no dining room or no real room for a table and chairs anywhere for that matter. We get my Grandma's dining room table and chairs when we get a house and there isn't any room for it at this house. Also, a bi-level, I am not totally against a bi-level but I think I would feel like I am going up and down stairs all the time. Not to mention I am not sure how I feel about walking in my front door and having to decide... up or down? it reminds me of those Goosebumps books where you can pick your ending.

Then there is House two: The Traditional Gem
It has been on the market since July and is ready for immediate possession, it is also priced high for the neighborhood so there is some wiggle room with the price.

I call it a gem because this house is in the neighborhood that I saw the broken down tractor and such. Now, there were like 4 houses including this one that looked amazing so I am still going to keep it on my list and go back this weekend to see if I see kids running, jumping, climbing trees and what not. This house, is more traditional in the lay out, it is a 4 bedroom(3 up and one in the basement), 1.5 bath house built in 1975, it is a one car garage and a one car driveway (which means one of us is always going to have to park in the street), it has a Florida room, huge back yard with privacy fence, a stone paver patio, a dining room, fire place, renovated bathrooms, finished basement, amazing landscaping and in 2-3 weeks is going to get new counter tops, sink, flooring and appliances. Some draw backs are the garage, the fact that until we actually get to walk through it I have no idea what the kitchen looks like or will look like,and the neighborhood.

what do you guys think? I am leaning more towards the traditional one, but who knows until we see it right?

Those are our must sees. I am going to contact a real estate agent today and see if we can get this show on the road!!!

Thanks for being my sounding board ladies!!!!! Have a happy hump day!

I am pre-qual wha?????

Remember not to long ago the post about Home sweet rental?

Well Hubs and I started talking seriously about the possibilities of home ownership.

To my surprise husband was open about it and on board with what I had to say. So we decided that we would just "see" if we could get pre-approved for a home loan. We decided to take the out come in stride, meaning if it was YES then we knew we were in pretty good shape, and if it was NO we would then talk to the bank and see how we could better prepare.

I stared the paper work and turned it in....

the verdict....

YES!

We are so excited! When I called husband to tell him he couldn't believe it. Not that we didn't think we would get approved, but we didn't want to get our hopes up just in case.

Now the hunt is on for a real eststate agent.

Shut up Katy Perry

So for about a week now, the weirdest thing as been happening to me.

Husband will leave for work, and kiss me goodbye (awww), and I wake up to kiss him back so 1.it isn't all creepy to be kissing someone unconscience and 2. to remember that he did kiss me good bye. I am not going to say that there may have been one or two instances where I got all mean and short with him because I thought he didn't kiss me and he really did and I had just forgotten about it.... anyway.

This past week when I wake up, smooch and then try to fall back asleep a song will get stuck in my head. For that brief 10 seconds that I am coherent is enough for my brain to shuffle ipod style to the most random song and then I can't make my brain shut the heck up.... it has been very annoying getting "Teenage dream" out of my head at 5:15 am.

This is husbands last weekend off of for awhile and I soooooo sad. I hate that his work schedule is so off the wall, I have been so spoiled this past month always having him home with me. Oh well. Such is life right?

I am have been so boring lately so I feel like I don't have much to talk about. I literally have been getting up, going to work, going home and going to bed. With some tv watching thrown in there of course.

Here's to hoping life gets a little more interesting!

Have a good weekend everyone!

My name is Mrs. G and I am addicted to tv.

I was sitting at home last night with husband and we were riffling through our DVR when I kept saying "Oh that was a new one we have to watch it." Being as husband is physically and mentally exhausted from doing inventory at work this week, he didn't fight me. This charade started at about 5:30pm.

It wasn't until about 8:00 that husband finally, at his wits end, said "I AM NOT WATCHING ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR SHOWS!!!! GIVE ME THE REMOTE!" This outburst started a debate about how much tv we actually watch. Husband claimed that I dominate the remote and DVR. I scoffed at the accusation. Husband made me name off the shows I watch/record on the DVR:
Glee
Grey's Anatomy
True Blood
America's next top model
The Rachel Zoe Project
Project Runway
Teen Mom
Khole and Kourtney take Miami
Keeping up with the Kardashians
Big Love
Army Wives
Four Weddings
16 and pregnant
Real House Wives of Atlanta
Real House Wives of New Jersey
The Office
Family Guy

I am ashamed. I didn't believe Husband when he named off his 4 shows, but when I looked at our DVR I was stunned.

He only has 4 shows he watches.

And 2 of those I watch with him, granted he watches some of mine with me. But still.

Hello, My name is Mrs. G and I am addicted to tv.

Maybe I can be on intervention.... ha!

A hot mess

Have you ever been in a state of hot mess-ness and not really give a hoot?

That is where I am right now, and have been for about 4 months... ok I lied... since winter. I just don't care.

I don't care that I wear jeans every day.
I don't care that I wear my hair in a ponytail 10 out of 10 times.
I don't care that I haven't worn make up (not for a special occasion) since.... well since, OMG I can't remember the last time I wore make up, just out of the blue.

I have not cared for so long that on our anniversary when I did do my hair, shaved my legs, wore a dress and put make up on that my husband was almost caught off guard.

I have not cared in so long, that I am actually starting to care again and the state of me today is just sad... I am wearing my crocs (nothing against them), the ones I bought for culinary school and swore I would only wear again when the need for slip resistant footwear is needed.


Does anybody else get this way too?

hmmm I sense the breezes of change....

(how's that for a clif hanger)

home sweet rental?

We are coming up to the end of our lease.

Which means one of two things might happen:

1. They beg us to stay and they offer up freebies or incentives to stay. Which hubs and I are down for.

OR

2. They raise our rent.

This is leaving hubs and I at a possible cross roads. What happens if they raise our rent? Do we stay or move? Do we really want to move in to another apartment?

Hubs and I have been trying to brace ourselves for both scenarios. Obviously we would like scenario numero uno but lets face it number 2 is probably more likely. We don't want to move again but then again we don't want to be paying over $800.00 for a 2 bedroom town house. Hubs has caught the home owner bug ever since we helped my brother and SIL move in to their first house. So I brought up that possibility, seeing as if we had our way our next move would be to something more permanent. I started looking just to see what was out there and even in this market it isn't much. Ok, let me rephrase that, there is a TON of houses out there but because of where I live you don't get a lot of house for your money. Ideally we would want our house payment to be below or equal to what we are paying now in rent and although it is do able it is just so scary to think about.

We have checked our credit and found out what we would be able to afford and honestly this is with in our spectrum. I mean it could happen. But I think for hubs it is the final nail in the coffin that is staying in the cold and frigid north. He has been itching to get back down south and I don't blame him. He is working at a job he hates, my family is crazy and manipulative of me, and it is cold here more than it is warm. But for some reason it just isn't working out, we both have put ourselves out there and to no avail.

He wants to have hope and that is fine, but I don't want to be moving every time our rent goes up hoping that maybe this month will be the month we get the call to pack our bags. I already did that, that is how I spent the first 7 years of my life, always moving. I want roots, big thick roots that you trip over. If we were to do this we would have to be here for long time, like 10+ years long time.... and I don't know if he is ready for that.

Last night though, just for an adventure we went and looked at a house that I have been eyeing for a while now.

We like the neighborhood seeing as it is only 6 years old. This is one of the first houses to be built and as you can see it has been updated. It is fun to look, to imagine where the Christmas tree would go, your door bell ringing at halloween time and being greeted my ghosts and goblins, the smell of burgers on the grill and the American flag catching a breeze on the 4th of July.

We will see what happens in the next few weeks. I am not saying we are buying a house, but a girl can dream.

what does it mean?

Ok.

I have been having some really really strange dreams. So strange mind you that I am too afraid to look them up of try to delve in to their meaning.

In the past 2 weeks these are some of the doosies I have had:

1. My company had been sold to doll company and we hadn't been told. We walked in to our office to find that our desks had been taken over by the doll company employees and all of our personal effects were in a box under the desk. So we are all like are we fired? they said no, that our new offices were over by the conference room and y'all they were long tables with 5 or so computers on them we are pissed because we have no personal space. We all sit down and notice a bunch of little girls in the conference room and we are like is this a day care now too? No, these are your supervisors... SAY WHAT!?!?! Of course I get the stuck up one that is covered in glitter and looks like a princess. I call my husband and tell him what has happened and that I have to quit. He tells me to do what is best, so I am about to quite when a tiger striped ferret attacks another animal, as people are gathering around I shove my way up to the front and see a bloodied mess so what do I do? I throw my scarf on top of the fighting creatures and then yell at the fact they are getting it bloody. People just start to walk away and I am screaming YOU ARE GETTING BLOOD ALL OVER MY SCARF!?!??!!? Then they chaos stops and I pick up tiger stripped ferret and I can tell that he isn't mine and that I don't really like him. Well Some how I end up on the beach and it is right as there is a tornado coming and the sirens are going off, everyone is running up the dunes to what looks like houses but in fact are just garages. I start running with my tiger stripped ferret and I feel like I am missing something. My Husband is yelling for me to run faster and I pick up the pace but still feel this pull of sadness. I am about to get in to the garage when I look over my shoulder and see the tornado, and this little gray fur running after me. I don't know why but I feel this incredible sense of joy and turn around and start to run for her. It is like a phantom limb I just know her and need her with me. My husband is yelling after me and I scoop her up and run back. The Tornado is right on top of us and we can't get the door shut so we huddle in the middle of the floor and put the gray ferret in a hold right below me for safe keeping. The storm passes and we are all ok, ferret and all.

According to dream dictionary:

Ferrets: distrust or suspicion or a pun on searching

Blood: Represents life, love and passion.

Scarf: Self- restrictions

Tornado: over whelmed and out of control

2. I was at my grandma's house before work really early in the morning, the kind of early that the day is barely break through the night. I am there and she isn't and I am about to leave and I see a fed ex plane crash. I scream and start running, I know it landed somewhere behind her house and I can see the pillar of smoke. I run to a pond, and there is no smoldering wreckage once I am there, most of the plane hit the pond. I notice there are tons and tons of fed ex boxes every where and people are starting to come out of the wood work to see what the commotion was. We all start scanning the wreckage looking for the pilot but no one can be found. I notice the hand full of people starting to get louder and louder and turn to see them rummaging through the boxes and taking whatever they please. It finally hits me how far I have run and how effing cold it is out. So, I start rummaging as well to see if I can find something to layer. I get tons of jewelery, nothing to flashy, a yellow scarf, winter hat, sweaters, and some promo tee shirts from a earth friendly company. I start on my way back to my gmas and finally hear the sirens for the police and fire crew. Once back at her house I jump in to my red Honda fit ( not my car) and start to head to work (3 hours late) I have to make a stop at my Friend Erin's house to show her my car for some reason. At this point I call my boss frantic and tell him that I am on my way and he is so mad that I am late. I scream at him and say "DID YOU NOT HEAR ABOUT A PLANE CRASH? I WAS TOTALLY THERE SO BACK OFF!" I am traveling and I have to cross this bridge and I there are only 2 small metal rails and if you fall you fall. I am petrified but I have to get to work. I think to myself Oh my car is small enough I can do this, and some how I make it across and get to work. Nervous about all my FedEx loot in the back of my car.

According to Dream Dictionary:

Plane crash: You have set unrealistic goals for yourself

Cold: You are experiencing a breakthrough in some area in your life

Rummage/Search: you are searching for something in your life

Late: your dear of change and your ambivalence about seizing an opportunity. You may feel unworthy or unsupported

Bridge: crossing a bridge signifies an important decision or critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be positive.

So there is a little break down of my dreams. It is so strange to see how eerily on these have been...

and here is cute picture of a ferret.